When Should You Meet Your Tinder Match In Person? This Is How Long It Takes Most People To Do It
While I rewatched the first season of Law & Order: SVU, as one does on a rainy weekend, I saw an episode about a 16-year-old girl who spent months talking to her older chatroom boyfriend, only to finally meet up and be abducted and raped. Rather than blaming the adult man for his heinous crimes, everyone seemed weirdly fixated on the teen girl's supposed mistake — meeting up with someone she met online. But life is different now. Today, the question isn't if you should meet your Tinder match in person. It's when to meet your Tinder match in person.
I'm pretty sure I'm doing this whole "timing" thing wrong. Twenty-six days ago, I handed my phone to my coupled-up friend and told her to have fun swiping through my Tinder. She gleefully swiped right on a long-haired lawyer whose bio mentioned he loved movies and volunteering. She cheered when we matched, and she started up a conversation.
After four days of sporadic messaging, he asked me out, but I was visiting my sister in Texas. I threw out two dates for the week I got back to New York. He said it was a tough week for him at work, so he offered to circle back later. Six days went by, and then he floated the idea of Thursday at 9:30, which I vetoed as too late.
I will spare you the details, which grow even more tedious from here (can you believe it?). But ultimately, after considering four other dates and times, we settled on Wednesday the 25th, a full 21 days after we had matched. I texted him to confirm that we were still on for drinks, and he essentially cancelled.
He asked to reschedule, but by that point, I was over it. Nothing is less sexy than repeatedly checking iCal. I'm pretty sure that Long-Haired Lawyer Dude and I will never meet in real life.
And until recently, I also thought that was kind of the norm. But whoa, was I wrong. Tinder sent me data about how long it takes most users to meet up with each other, and I was really surprised.
This Is How Long Most People Take To Meet Up
According to Tinder, "About 95 percent of our users who meet up will meet up within two to seven days of matching with each other."
That's kind of awesome, no?
To me, that sounds like most people really prioritize dating. Rather than seeing someone they like, but then pushing off their eventual meet-cute until after their book club/aerial yoga workshop/13th consecutive night in watching Law & Order: SVU re-runs, they're making moves. I like it. And clearly, I should learn from it.
Tinder's findings dovetail pretty nicely with conventional wisdom about how to date most effectively.
"The idea is always to take [the conversation] offline sooner rather than later," says Michal Naisteter, a matchmaker from Three Day Rule. "It's the only way to find out if you click in person!"
How Are People Really Using Tinder?
I started asking around to see how people tend to use Tinder — half because I wanted to see if that statistic rings true, and half because I wanted to see if I'm really the only scheduling-challenged nightmare out there who will probably die alone and then still ask to move the date of my funeral twice.
It turns out that Tinder's numbers — 95 percent of people who meet up with their match do so within two to seven days — seem pretty legit.
This woman wants to meet up that night if possible.
— Sharlyn, 27
This woman aims to meet up within three to four days.
— Christina, 24
This woman kindly gave her matches a week to meet up.
— Theresa, 24
This woman usually stopped responding after two days — but then met up with her now-boyfriend after a week and a half.
— Alexia, 24
And there we go, folks. Meet up in two days. Meet up after a week. Meet up after a week and a half, if you're really digging someone! Do not wait 21 days and then cancel.
I'll take the extra-wide coffin with adequate room for all my day planners, please.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!