Although I've never actually experienced a Christmas dinner, it seems like there really is no conventional Christmas menu. While Thanksgiving has a somewhat standard agenda — turkey, stuffing, cranberries, and pie are just a few classics — Christmas seems to depend more on family preferences, including anything from ham, to seven types of fish, or even lobster. But despite my lack of experience in the realm of Christmas, I feel like it's safe to assume that "candy cane pizza" is not a Christmas staple. I'm honestly just clarifying, but someone melted candy canes on pizza, and for your sake — I, as well as the entire Twitterverse — really hope it's banned from your Christmas feast. In fact, these tweets about melted candy canes on pizza will totally gross you out.
You may remember the Peeps pizza circa Easter 2017, and the candy corn pizza that followed in October. Since both pies received an ample amount of horrified feedback, we were really hoping that the candy corn pizza would be the last of its kind. But, alas, with all popular internet sensations come several other horrifying variations... right?
The creator of the new-yet-disgraceful candy cane pie, David Sanchez, showcased his creation on Twitter earlier this month, graciously crediting DiGiorno for the use of its highly-regarded frozen 'za. Sanchez told popular radio station 101WKQX that he was inspired by the notorious pizza travesty and internet sensation: the candy corn pizza. Until now, he was anxiously waiting for the holiday season to try it out with candy canes. To our dismay, he stated that he did, in fact, eat some of the pizza, but he said he wouldn't do it again. We're totally holding him to that.
Although Twitter can sometimes be dramatic AF, I'd say the majority of reactions definitely weren't wrong about this one. People are obviously pretty disgusted. Some of the population is really just thinking that Christmas should be canceled at this point.
Another portion of the Twitterverse population isn't quite as disgusted as they are insulted by this horrifying pizza disaster. Some are threatening to call the authorities, while others are taking it upon themselves to stop this new level of pizza insanity. We just think that Sanchez has gone way too far, and that his crimes against both Christmas and pizza must end now.
The most deeply — and rightfully — insulted reaction emerged from DiGiorno's Twitter. DiGiorno was understandably not thrilled by Sanchez's peppermint-laced innovation, or the notorious hype it's received.
There are, however, a few outliers who continue to encourage Sanchez on his candy-cane-and-cheese-pizza endeavors. We're not sure where you terrible pizza-haters came from, but have you ever had pizza? Or candy canes? I'm not sure you actually have.
If you're just really, really into the idea of a pizza that reflects Christmas (in a much less insulting manner), we would probably be okay with the Christmas pizza that British grocery store, Asda, released last month. Although it too received a tremendous amount of mixed feedback, it was a bit classier on the Christmas pizza spectrum, tastefully adding turkey, potatoes and cranberries atop the frozen pie. It may not be your cup of tea, but it's also not quite as degrading as putting candy canes on top of a pizza. But, you can't get this Christmas pizza outside the UK, so if you're in the States, you might be stuck with candy cane 'za for now.
So, whether you decide to have roast beef, a seafood feast, a hearty salad, or even a respectable cheese pizza pie this Christmas, I strongly discourage eating a cheese pizza pie topped with melted candy canes. About 95 percent of the Twitter population agrees that a candy cane pie is insulting to the Christmas spirit and to the entire world of pizza.
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