If you're in a serious relationship, you're probably spending several nights a week at each other's places. After a while, packing overnight bags, dealing with roommates, and paying rent for two separate apartments could start to feel annoying. Whether you've been dating your SO for one month or one year, you might start thinking about moving in together. The convenience of this is appealing, the shared financial responsibility is a plus, and finding out if you two have long-term compatibility is pretty important. This checklist for moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend could help you determine if you're ready for this step.
Moving in with your SO can be a really huge step in your relationship, so it's good to give the decision proper consideration and not make the call on a whim. "Living together provides a blueprint of what your future may hold and this is a needed determinant for partnership viability," NYC-based relationship expert Susan Winter told Elite Daily. So since this step could help you determine if you and your partner are in it for the long run, it's also good to weigh the pros and cons of such a big move. (Literally.) Being honest with yourself about your reasons for wanting to live with your partner will help guide you to making the right choice.
Don't get me wrong, the appeal of sharing rent with someone is very attractive. But if saving money with your honey is one of your main motivations for wanting to move in, you might want to re-evaluate your choice. Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist and relationship expert, told Elite Daily that the decision should be based on emotional reasons, not financial reasons. Wish said, "You should not move in together because you are lonely, short of money, or [because it] is the next thing to do." So if your budget is driving this decision, you might not be ready to cohabit.
You might feel certain pressure to take your relationship to the next level because other couples around you are doing so, or your family is encouraging you, or simply because you feel like you're "supposed to." Wanting your relationship to progress is natural and a great thing, and if you're ready to do so, then go for it! Nicole Richardson, relationship therapist, says, "For some people, it feels like the next natural step, but some people do move in together before they're ready for other reasons." If you feel pressure to keep your relationship moving forward but aren't ready to cohabit, that's totally normal. Consider making smaller milestones feel more special, and focus on your connection with your person, not what "step" you're on.
If you feel insecure about an aspect of your relationship, you might think moving in together is the answer to your problems. You might want to keep closer tabs on your partner, or feel like living together would make them feel more secure, or you need the reassurance that your partner loves you enough to want to cohabit. Instead of sharing an address, Richardson suggests asking yourself, "If I don't move in with my SO, how could I improve my relationship?" Once you feel confident and secure enough in your relationship, you might be better equipped to make this decision.
Lastly, Richardson says to ask yourself, "What are the best and worst things that could happen if we live together? What are the best and worst things that could happen if we don't live together?" Considering the best and worst case outcomes of living together can be really helpful, and Winter agrees. "Worst case scenario — you'll know that you're not right for each other and time will not be wasted," Winter told Elite Daily. "In a best-case scenario — you're getting closer as a couple and realize this is the best choice of mate for your future."
To live together or not to live together, that is the question. And no matter what your answer is, if you're making your choice for the right reasons, you and your partner are likely to be headed for domestic bliss.
