Every now and then, Twitter will produce something that has me laughing for days, and a recent viral tweet about the labels on certain spice containers has done just that. A Twitter user recently posted a photo of spice containers from an Australian spice company called Oasis Bakery, and they have some unusual text on the labels. Honestly, these tweets about wordy spice labels from Oasis Bakery will actually have you cracking up.
On Saturday, June 22, Twitter user @cnqmdi posted a series of photos of spice containers from Oasis Bakery and captioned the photos, "[W]ho is the oasis bakery spices copywriter i just want to talk." Why does @cnqmdi just want to talk to the copywriter? Well, if you look closely at the spice labels on the various containers, you'll notice that they contain very long, convoluted paragraphs about whatever the copywriter seemed to be thinking about. For example, the Italian Herbs container, at first glance, looks like a normal spice container. It has the bakery name, the bakery website, and the name and ingredients of the spice blend. But, just above the barcode and beneath the name is a paragraph about Roberto Saviano's novel Gomorrah. Part of the paragraph reads:
Roberto Saviano's novel Gomorrah provides a firsthand expose of the savagery and underhanded dealings of Southern Italy's Camorra (a powerful Neapolitan mafia-like organization). One of the unscrupulous business practices detailed in the novel is the construction industry's use of inferior building materials to save on costs. In the L'Aquilla earthquake of April 2009 several modern buildings were thought to have collapsed because sea sand had been used to produced the concrete...
Kind of ridiculous (and very wordy) for a spice blend description, right? The mystery copywriter ties it all together though, and ends the paragraph with, "Rest assured the Camorra have not infiltrated the production of Italian herbs - it's [salt-free] and very robust."
One of the website gems includes this description of caraway seed, which reads, in part:
Caraway belongs to the transportation family of spices. It siblings include busaway, trainaway & boataway. The transportation family of spices is renowned the world over for being the only spices that actually harvest, process, package & transport themselves to their final destination of sale ... Keep this spice in a secure area as it may very well spontaneously transport itself out of your pantry & back into the wild where it feels at home
Needless to say, Twitter loved the ridiculousness of it all. Twitter user @tomfgoodwin wrote, "I want this person to write all ads and all copy for everything." Another Twitter user, @jimmybing, wrote, "Speaking as someone who writes a lot of copy, this sounds like a dream job."
People seemed to also gravitate toward certain labels over others. For example, Twitter user @AndrewBucholtz liked the Lord of the Rings-themed tarragon label which read, "Tarragon, the would-be king of the herbs, played with great vigor and lack of nude fight scenes by Viggo Mortensen."
Another Twitter user, @thebarrywe, was particularly drawn to the Italian herb one, writing, "All are great but that Italian Herb one is just golden."
So, if you're out there, sweet Oasis Bakery copywriter, just know that the world is rooting for you, and everyone is on your side. Please don't stop writing ridiculous, somewhat irrelevant descriptions for the Australian spice company where you work. As long as this is your job, count on me and the rest of the Twitterverse to be your No. 1 fans.