Happy 4th of July, everyone! Today is the day we celebrate America — the place where everything is awful and every day we get one step closer to becoming the real life Gilead *insert upside-down smile emoji here to show how dead inside I am*. In true American fashion, everyone's on Twitter right now. And people can't stop making the same joke about the real state of the union in these tweets about the 4th of July. Basically, everyone's like, "LOL, HBD, America. We're all screwed!" And honestly, are they wrong?
People have been tweeting all day about the 4th of July. Lots of tweeters are taking time to highlight things the country can improve on (a whole f*ckin' lot), to reflect on the happenings of the past year and how we can overcome them, and generally just trying to use Independence Day as a day of hope, but there are also lots of people trolling the nation by wishing America a very "happy" birthday. "Happy Birthday America" is currently trending on Twitter, and if you look through all of the tweets, you'll find a hilarious combo of tweets that show people basically saying "everything hurts and I'm dead inside."
HBD, America. This year has been your best year yet! And by best, I mean pretty awful for all those involved.
People are tweeting things like "Happy birthday, America. You've really let yourself go," "Happy birthday, America: you're screwed!" and more lengthy tweets like, "Happy Birthday America. As a nation founded by illegal immigrants from England, the United States should really go ahead and free the children locked up in cages and do something about having the largest prison population in the world. Because, you know, freedom." Lots of people seem to be taking the time to send the message that despite what some people may think, America isn't doing so great. Not in the slightest.
President Trump, on the other hand, thinks things are going just swell. Trump's 4th of July tweet has lots of people on Twitter angry.
Trump posted about a two-minute video to his Twitter around 11 a.m. on July 4th that was all about the Revolutionary War. In part of the video, he said,
General George Washington and his army of brave patriots fought a long tough war with the British to win America’s freedom, win they did …together as we celebrate the Fourth of July with friends and family let us never forget that our freedom has been earned through the blood, and sweat, and sacrifice of American heroes.
He added that Americans are "eternally in their debt," and “We are — and will always be — one people, one family, and one glorious nation under God. Happy Fourth of July, and God bless America." Right, cool. That tracks.
People on Twitter are not here for this video and have not been kind in their responses. Sorry 'bout it.
Trump's critics on Twitter are tweeting things like, "'They announced to the world that America would be free and America would be independent. They pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.' So, basically, the exact opposite of who you are and what you do," "You are so embarrassing to our once great nation," and "Happy Independence Day a$$hole." Clearly they aren't impressed with Trump's video, and honestly, fair.
Another message people aren't impressed with is Melania Trump's 4th of July tweet. Homegirl had a typo.
The First Lady's posted two tweets about the 4th of July, both the same general tweet with one difference: one had a typo, the other didn't. The former was deleted shortly after it was posted. The First Lady's current 4th of July tweet says, "Happy #IndependenceDay May God bless this great nation & all the people who protect it!" with an American flag emoji. The original tweet spelled "independence" incorrectly. It was spelled "independance." The mistake was caught quickly, but like... how is that not noticed before it's tweeted? Isn't it someone's job to make sure her tweets are posted with flawless copy? Hello? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Happy 4th of July, everyone. If we're going by Twitter's standards, everyone here is stressed the F out. What a time.