What do you do in bed? At first glance, that question sounds dirty to me. And, honestly, I wish I was doing some dirty, crazy things in bed, but realistically, what I do in bed isn't all that exciting. I sleep. I stress about stupid stuff that doesn't matter. I take an Advil PM if my ears are aching. I watch Friends reruns. I FaceTime people. I think about how much sleep I'm not getting, and I waste time on social media. And these tweets about stuff people do in bed prove I'm not the only one doing boring stuff in bed.
It all started when #StuffIDoInBed started trending on Twitter. All sorts of people on Twitter came out with responses about what they do in bed that are way, way too real. From scrolling through Twitter for hours on end to thinking about their bae's doppelgänger to snuggling with a teddy bear to reading to gazing lovingly at their dogs, just read through these tweets and TRY to tell me these are not exactly the things you do in bed, too. Read along and feel more normal than you've ever felt before.
You have some super, super existential thoughts.
You fall asleep reading.
You stress about everything you're procrastinating on.
You think about all of the sleep you're not getting.
You let your phone slip out of your hands.
You overthink every little thing until it's time to wake up again.
You... throw your bed down a cliff?
You stay on social media instead of sleeping.
You think about your bae's doppelgänger.
You stress about that one dumb thing you said once ages ago.
You try to fight off the flood of embarrassing thoughts.
You eat an entire meal.
You get in arguments with your pets.
You marathon your favorite shows.
You eat some yummy snacks while you watch movies.
It differs from bed to bed... BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.
You spoon your pillow.
You swipe through dating apps.
You play funny jokes on your SO while they sleep.
You spend way too much time on Twitter.
You embrace your Sunday Scaries.
You get, like, really philosophical.
You avoid your problems.
You embrace your love for your dog.
You sleep and then wake up to cry and repeat.
You cuddle with your cat.
You work in a nice combination of crying, farting, and snoring.
You think about how much you hate your job.
You snuggle up with your teddy and read a book.
You sit there and wait for your brain to stop going wild.
Or you just snuggle up with a teddy sans book.
OK, so maybe the guy who lines up little army guys on his girlfriend and commands them in German while she sleeps isn't quite relatable. But, I mean, how hilarious is that?
Anyway, I hope you are all rejoicing in the same resounding sense of normalcy that I am right now. I'm normal! I'm normal! Everybody stays up all night thinking about that one embarrassing thing they did that one time in fourth grade! Everyone wastes way too much time on their phones instead of sleeping! Everyone FaceTimes their mom in the middle of the night when they have a scary nightmare... oh, wait, nope, that's still just me.
You get the picture here. Next time you're lying in bed, trying to figure out why you can't fall asleep — or why you're not doing other things in bed — just know there are millions of other people out there feeling the same way.
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