Adulting is hard. Like, really hard. But instead of giving up and sobbing into their avocado toasts (because that’s totally why you can’t afford a house, right?), the millennial crowd is doing what they do best: trolling all the expectations by sharing their own "by age 35" tweets with milestones that are just too hilarious. Sometimes you just have to laugh through the tears, right?
It all started when a viral article from MarketWatch claimed that people should have two times their salary saved for retirement by the time they are 35. Like your salary, then doubled. LOL. While the distressing article was first published in January, it made its rounds on the internet again this month due to a May 12 tweet from MarketWatch, and the internet was not here for it. According to Know Your Meme, that's when the Twitterverse took up arms and decided to roast the article with their own memes about what you should have accomplished by that age. The results are either just too relatable or completely ridiculous (you know, just like the idea that you should have twice your salary saved by the time you've spent 35 years just existing). I'm totally on board with the Twitter suggestions.
From the sounds of it, I'm definitely on my way to adulting if a cheese spread served with a glass of coffee-infused red wine means that I've made it in life. Bonus points if it's a step above Kraft or string cheese, because you're fancy and you deserve it.
We're all taking baby steps here, OK?
You know that weird period in your mid-30s where you're still pretending that you're just as close with all your college friends and former co-workers as you used to be? And that you're going to hang out all the time and do happy hour next week? That's definitely a real thing.
I guess '90s and early '00s nostalgia is real, and adults are always looking back fondly on the good old days, right?
If newly minted Duchess Meghan Markle can wait an extra year to get her life together and forge a path to royalty, so can you.
One consensus I'm seeing all over Twitter is that by age 35, you should have a collection of useless stuff that you just can't bring yourself to throw out. Are you ever going to wear that top again? No. Are you going to throw it out? Absolutely not.
Hey, at least you're organizing all that useless stuff. Your mom would be proud.
Speaking of utensils...
By age 35, you should definitely be entitled to a judgment-free zone when it comes to the vast amounts of take-out you've ordered.
Forget purchasing a house, many 30-somethings would jump on the opportunity to live alone in an apartment sans roommate. I mean, did Bridget Jones really have it that bad residing in a multi-room pad in the heart of London? Just food for thought.
On the flip side, a few Twitter users decided to one-up the MarketWatch article with their own grandiose plans for the future. Because saving double your earnings in just the 10 years following college graduation is also totally doable, right?
At least the contentious article — which draws from a report by Fidelity Investments — does acknowledge that it's a pretty tough milestone to reach. The firm reports that many 35-year-olds are still struggling to make ends meet, let alone save anything from their paychecks, due to "crippling student debt." On the bright side, at least you know you're definitely not alone if you have more memes stockpiled than retirement savings at this point.