I have bad news: For the most part, Disney's princes are actually kind of the worst. There are a few I might hang out with because they seem fun or have cool toys like, ya know, magic carpets and space ships and what not. But date them? Even the fun ones aren't exactly the finest boyfriend material — they're the
Disney princes you would because quite honestly, most of them have some seriously whack gender politics and come on way too strong. While you might be able to make a case for, say, Prince Naveen post-frog curse, for the most part, it's going to to be a pretty hard no. friend-zone,
That being said, some are definitely worse than others. Prince Charming? Hard Pass. Prince Florian? Don't even get me started. These guys are practically a walking, talking patriarchy. So yeah, they probably aren't exactly the dream partner that they're branded to be. And depending on your personality type and preferences, that could make them less desirable to date, in a "let’s just be friends" kind of way, if you know what I mean. So, this is the Disney prince you are most likely to friend-zone based on your zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 To April 19): Prince Charming from 'Cinderella'
An Aries and Prince Charming may be able to be buds, but romantic partners? Nope. Prince Charming is an old-school guy who wants his lady at home doing queenly things, while Aries just wants to set out on their own adventures and pursue their dreams whenever the desire strikes.
Taurus (April 20 To May 20): Flynn Rider, aka Eugene, from 'Tangled'
For Taurus, having a partner who is on the same page with them on making a simple (but luxe) home life is a priority. They want security and for things to be steady and calm. So, while they would love to hang out with Flynn once in a while to hear about his outlaw antics, it would be all about the friend-zone between these two.
Gemini (May 21 To June 20): Prince Eric from 'The Little Mermaid'
Gemini needs a partner who knows when to be there for them and when to back off and give them plenty of space to just be alone and
breathe. Handsome but clingy AF Prince Eric would drive Gemini bananas. So, it’s BFFs or nothing for these two.
Cancer (June 21 To July 22): Star-Lord, aka Peter Quill, from 'Guardians of the Galaxy'
To claim a Cancer’s heart, you need to prove yourself to be loyal, steady, and trustworthy. So, Peter Quill doesn’t have a chance because, well, he is none of these things. Besides, Cancer can sniff out this intergalactic f**kboy from a lightyear away.
Leo (July 23 To Aug. 22): Prince Naveen from 'The Princess and the Frog'
Leo is the star of their relationship, period. And while Naveen is pretty freakin’ dreamy (especially after going through that whole frog curse issue), the fact is he is just too cocky and definitely too pretty for Leo to ever feel totally fulfilled by him. So, friends only it is!
Virgo (Aug. 23 To Sept. 22): Prince Phillip from ‘Sleeping Beauty’
Do you remember how Prince Phillip and Aurora first met in
Sleeping Beauty? She was just minding her own business dancing in a clearing with her woodland creature friends when he snuck up behind her and started dancing on her. What. A. Creep. Seriously, though, that kind of strong come-on is a huge turn-off for Virgo. So, welcome to the friend-zone, your majesty.
Libra (Sept. 23 To Oct. 22): Li Shang from 'Mulan'
Libra may be initially attracted to Li Shang — I mean, honestly, who wouldn’t be? — but that would wear off quickly once his judgmental and bossy attitude came out. Libra wants to be able to relax, be social, and let their weirdo flag fly without anyone following them around shouting about making a man out of them.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 To Nov. 21): Kuzco from ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’
If you want to woo a Scorpio, you need to bring the passion and let them know you're going to be able to keep up with them in the bedroom. Sorry, Kuzco. While I applaud how far you’ve come since the whole llama debacle, you aren’t exactly exuding sexual heat… like,
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 To Dec. 21): Beast, aka Prince Adam, from ‘Beauty and the Beast'
I’m not sure that you could find a less likely pairing than a Sagittarius and the Beast. One wants to be wild and free and to never be held down — figuratively or literally. While all the other wants to do is find someone to Stockholm Syndrome into loving him. There are not enough talking teacups in the world to make that worthwhile for Sag.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 To Jan. 19): Peter Pan from ‘Peter Pan’
Literally the last thing in the world ambitious and determined Capricorn wants in a partner is a man who refuses —
refuses — to grow up. Oh wait, there is one more: A man who won’t grow up and expects you to support him and his crew of lost boys. Hard. Pass.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 To Feb. 18): John Smith from ‘Pocahontas’
For humanitarian Aquarius, there is no way they would want anything to do with a colonialist like John Smith. Honestly, we should all give this dude a hard no. I don’t even think he belongs in the friend-zone. Besides, who needs a man when you’ve got a raccoon friend to paint all the colors of the wind with? Am I right?
Pisces (Feb. 19 To March 20): Kristoff from 'Frozen'
Of all the signs most likely to be attracted to the Disney prince type, Pieces is number one. However, what they want is is an old-school prince that will sweep them off their feet, kill a dragon, and move them into the castle. So, a prince like Kristoff would definitely only be a friend. He’s just too unromantic and grumpy to fully win this sign’s heart.
OK, maybe I'm being too hard on all these princes. We're all a product of how we grew up, and my guess is a lot of these dudes didn't have the best role models. But hey, maybe they can learn and grow from having an enlightened friend like you. Have I officially thought about this too much? Probably, but here we are.