It goes without saying that staying in contact with a friend’s ex is tricky territory. On the one hand, you had forged your own friendship with them outside of their relationship with your bestie — one that you’d ideally like to maintain. On the other hand, your loyalty lies with your BFF, and they may still be healing. If you still want to be friends with your friend's ex (and you've established that it won’t destroy your other friendship), the question becomes what to say.
The key to sending texts to send your friend’s ex is crafting messages that can accomplish several things at once: opening up the line of communication, so they don’t feel awkward, establishing that you’re not choosing sides, and reassuring them you’re not going to pull a Charlotte from SATC next time you see them and scream, “I curse the day you were born!”
Maintaining mutual friendships after a breakup is possible. First, however, you may feel the need to be clear on how your friend feels, to ensure you're not breaking girl code, which requires considering why the breakup happened. If the ex was cheating, lying, emotionally abusing, or otherwise hurting your friend, then keeping up a friendship with them is an obvious no-no (as is dating or hooking up with them, of course). And even if they didn’t do any of those things, your friend may still feel a little weird about you talking to their previous boo. Once you’ve had an honest conversation about it, it'll be easier to determine whether it’s possible to stay loyal to your bestie while still chatting with their ex.
So, back to those carefully crafted texts. If you’re wondering what to say, here are a few messages that may help you both to find neutral grounds for friendship.