There's always been plenty of discussion over whether or not you should stay with a partner who cheats on you... but what about staying friends with a friend who cheats on their partner? From a moral standpoint, this person has done something that's objectively wrong. They knowingly hurt the person they made a commitment to. But does your friend's transgression against someone else necessarily mean you have to cut them out of your life as well? A recent Reddit thread asked ladies to share if they would stay friends with a friend who cheated, and their answers were pretty varied across the board.
Read along and get a sense of their takes on the issue. If you find yourself in this situation, maybe their stories will help you out.
She wouldn't stay friends, because cheating is a character issue.
This happened to me. No, I didn't remain friends with her because I felt like it was a really awful thing for her to do because her husband was deployed. It's a character issue. I don't want friends that stab the people they love in the back.
It depends on the circumstances for cheating for this woman.
Completely depends on the circumstances. As I've gotten older (and married) I have noticed myself judging people who cheat more harshly in other aspects of life though.
This woman wouldn't, because they'd eventually betray you, too.
Probably not. If they would betray the trust of their partner (someone they're supposed to love), I couldn't trust them to not betray me.
She says yes because all of their boyfriends suck anyway.
Depends on the friend, but honestly I don't like most of my friends' SOs, so probably it wouldn't change anything.
I'd ask them why for sure, given that despite my feelings most of my friends are dating their SOs because they like the person, but I can't think of many cases among my current friends where I'd be like "But your SO is so wonderful - how can you do this to them?"
It depends on how severe the cheating was for this woman.
It depends on the situation. 9/10 times, no. But there are grey areas, and it's not my life, and while I never condone cheating, the severity might not condone me losing one of the most important people in my life.
She says no, because surrounding yourself with healthy relationships is an important part of keeping your relationship healthy.
Nope. None of my friends are saints, but I can't be friends with people who do things like that. The kind of person you are is important to me when it comes to my friendships and that's not the kind of person I want to be friends with.
I also think surrounding yourself with healthy/strong relationships is important to your own relationship as well.
It's a no for this woman, because that person's moral values are too low.
No. I don't like the idea of keeping people with such low moral values around me. I'm lucky that I've never had this happen
She says yes, because everyone else is already going to ostracize them.
Yes. Nearly every other person in his life ostracized him over it, and I was worried about his well being. He definitely made some extremely awful decisions, but I feel that he paid for them in full. I think it's important to be kind to people who fuck up major.
She'd stay friends, but ONLY if it was a one-time thing.
If they were a serial cheater or something, it would make me question how truthful they are with everybody, including me. I might not be able to hang with that forever.
If it happened once, I would encourage them to fess up or call it off but would probably remain friends and politely ask them WTF they were thinking.
She says yes, because being best friends forever supersedes all.
My best friend has been my best friend since 1977.We have remained best friends through husbands, affairs, divorces, deaths, living thousands of miles apart, and of late- political differences.
She will be my best friend forever.
It's a maybe for her, depending on the friend.
Depends which friend. Someone I'm just kind of friends with? Nah. I don't want to invite that kind of attitude around me. Someone I'm really close with? That would be pretty out of character for them and I'd have to know why, what's going on with them, convince them to stop it and make things right. If they weren't willing to do that then yeah I'd distance myself there too.
No for this woman, because cheaters are "disgusting people."
Nope. I think cheaters are disgusting people and I don’t want that type of person in my life.
At the end of the day, whether or not you choose to be friends with your friend who cheated is your decision and your decision only. Personally, for me, it would have a lot to do with the closeness of my friendship and the severity of the cheating. Hopefully, these different points of view can help you make a better decision.
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