Should You Add Your Tinder Match On Instagram Before Meeting? 4 Reasons That's Not A Great Idea

Please follow me on Instagram. Like any other aspiring D-list #influencer, I love gaining followers. Nothing makes me happier than watching my follower count tick upwards. But even I draw the line somewhere, and that's when a potential suitor wants to connect with me on Instagram before we've met in real life. Should you add your Tinder match on Instagram? I'm firmly against it.

See, I'm a commitment-phobe. The last time I followed a guy I liked on Instagram, we had been dating for two months and were planning a weekend getaway together. And even then, I hesitated before hitting the "follow" button on his account. What if I came across as clingy? What if we broke up, and then I had to deal with his photos popping up on my feed until I got around to unfollowing him?

Of course, not everyone shares my fear of commitment, and that's probably very healthy and wonderful for all of you! I'm very happy for you.

But still, there are four major reasons to avoid following your Tinder match on Instagram until at least the second date (or, you know, the birth of your third child — take your pick). I'll lay them out for you.

It Makes You Look Thirsty AF


Smashing that "follow" button before you've even laid eyes on each other is a strong move. Like, really strong.

Some people might appreciate how bold you are, and a follow definitely ups your chances of standing out amid their other Tinder matches. But you're essentially a total stranger who now has unfettered access to photos of their family vacation, fraternity brother's birthday party, sister's wedding, and more. Not only can you see everything they've already posted, you'll see everything they post in the future, too. Forever. And this is someone you've never even met.

Why would you even want that? Why do you need to see that?

When you follow someone you've been dating for awhile, the gesture says, "I care about your life and would like to know more about it." When you follow a stranger, the gesture screams, "I have no sense of personal space or boundaries!"

It Means Your Match Can Spy On Your Insta


Thou shalt not spyeth without also being spyethed upon. Or something like that.

At first, your Tinder match may or may not be inclined to scroll through your Insta. But once they see that you're following them, they're more likely to check out your feed.

Do you really want them looking at every photo you've ever posted? Including that sloppy pic from Spring Fling in college and the Valentine's Day shot you posted during your last relationship?

Let me answer that for you: No.

It Ruins The Mystery

I can imagine my match taking one look at how artfully I've arranged my croissant next to that wheel of brie, with my éclair placed at a chic 45-degree angle, and thinking, "Eating with this girl must be an absolute nightmare." And that completely ruins my plans to make a guy fall in love with my sparkling personality before he realizes I will art-direct the sh*t out of every meal we ever eat together.

Like, yes, I have an addiction to #content and slight perfectionist tendencies, but I like to keep those traits under wraps for awhile in the early stages of a crush.

It's Awkward If The Relationship Fizzles Out


Let's say you never wind up meeting your match IRL. Or maybe you meet and realize in 0.5 seconds that you have zero chemistry. Then you're stuck with some rando's photos popping up on your feed until you remember to unfollow them. You don't need a stranger's hiking pics cluttering up your feed.

If you must follow your Tinder match, at least wait until you've met in person. Until then, just scroll through their pics without following, liking, or commenting like a normal stalker would.

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