It's the season to deck your halls, or rather your shelves, with all the wine. If you're still searching for the perfect present for the wino in your life (or yourself, because this season is also all about self love), One Funny Mother's Dena Blizzard has got you covered with the adults-only version of a classic holiday tradition. Shiraz on the Shelf is the Elf on the Shelf twist that's made just for wine lovers, and it needs to be on your shopping list, like, yesterday.
In a promo video shared on Nov. 1, Blizzard — aka the genius behind Chardonnay Go — revealed that she's done it again with a boozy take on Elf on the Shelf. Not everyone is here for a magical pixie tracking your whereabouts and spying on you to see if you were good this year, and Dena Blizzard's cheeky take is here for adults who are on the naughty list and aren't sorry about it. In fact, you might want to leave "the holiday season's much loved/hated elf" in storage, because Shiraz on the Shelf is now available for purchase, and you're going to want all the open counter space you can get to store your new companion. For just $29.99, you can treat yourself to the adults-only edition of the magical elf that's there to top you off with a glass of red after a long day of running errands and being productive, because the holidays are stressful AF, y'all.
In a hilarious promo video shared on YouTube, Blizzard explains, "It doesn’t matter if moms are good or bad, Shiraz on the Shelf is always there in the morning." The best part? Instead of hunting for your wine fix, your glass of Shiraz will be "left in the open for a drunk lady to find" and it will never judge you.
When you purchase the Shiraz on the Shelf kit, you'll also get receive a hilarious Christmas poem telling "the tale of a magical fairy filling the glass each night." You know, for inspiration.
The product description reads, "Shiraz on the Shelf is an ideal gift for everyone on your list, but especially the harried, under-appreciated moms out there who might need a little help to survive the holidays." If you're not a fan of Shiraz, you can top up your glass with a refreshing Chardonnay, your favorite Cab, or even a Merlot, as wine is not included (but "highly encouraged").
While Shiraz on the Shelf will give you something to look forward to at the end of the night, unfortunately it won't have the same effect as the elf who watches your kids and gives them an extra incentive to behave during the holiday season.
"Shiraz on the Shelf will NOT help wrap presents, bake cookies, or make your family nicer," a press release reads, according to Popsugar. "It WILL give you something to look forward to after a long night of doing EVERYTHING, while your family does NOTHING and expects presents on Christmas morning."
Still, having a glass of red waiting for you at the end of the day is definitely guaranteed to make the holiday struggles a little easier, so head over to One Funny Mother and prepare to top off your glass of vino all season long.