I hope you're sitting down because Pete Davidson's Alive From New York Netflix quotes about Ariana Grande are a lot to process. The SNL comedian's new special dropped on Tuesday, Feb. 25, and it includes several shots at his famous ex. One of the more controversial jokes is about her appearance on the August 2019 cover of Vogue a year after their engagement came to an end. At the time, the cover evoked backlash on social media, as some people believed her makeup was too dark for her skin tone.
The singer didn't hold back in her description of her whirlwind relationship. "I met Pete, and it was an amazing distraction," she said. "It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn't know him."
Davidson roasted his ex for the issue. "Can you imagine if I did that?" Davidson joked. "My career would be over tomorrow if I spray-painted myself brown and hopped on the cover of Vogue magazine and just started sh*tting on my ex."
He continued, "Can you imagine if I did that sh*t? If I was just like, 'Yeah, I was just f*cking her 'cause I was bored, and then Fortnite came out.' It would be insane."
He hinted that his jokes were a form of karma. "Something had to happen to her. There had to be some repercussions, right?" Davidson continued. "No, she won Billboard's Woman of the Year and I got called butthole eyes."
(For the record, Grande did jump to Davidson's defense when Barstool first called him "butthole eyes" while they were dating. "Y'all do know this man has an autoimmune disease, right? Like you do understand what you're doing when you do this right? Just wanna make sure," she tweeted at the time.)
Davidson also aired his grievances against Grande alluding to him having a big d*ck. "I don't like that she talked all this sh*t on, like, behalf of my d*ck. I thought that was super weird," he said. "Can you imagine if I said that shit? Can you imagine if I was like, 'Sorry, it didn't work out. Nice p*ssy, though!'"
Elite Daily reached out to reps for Grande for comment on Davidson's special but did not hear back in time for publication.
During an interview with Charlamagne Tha God, which took place on Feb. 21 and was uploaded to Charlamagne's YouTube channel on Feb. 24, Davidson opened up about his decision to take some shots at Grande throughout his special. "Stand-up's a part of my life. That was a highly publicized thing. I feel like she got her fair run and her fair stab at it," Davidson told Charlamagne. "I don't have social media and I don't really have an outlet to express my feelings. So stand-up's just how I do it. And I just have some jokes about it."
Here's to hoping Grande is able to see things from his point of view. And if not? Well, thank u, next.