In the midst of all the turmoil and confusion in the world today, one thing remains perfectly clear: Starbucks employees don't give a f*ck about how you spell your name. No one is safe from their wrath. Not even Oprah Winfrey. In a recent interview with E! News promoting A Wrinkle In Time, Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, and Mindy Kaling played a game that asked them what "normal people" activities they still do themselves (like going on a Starbucks run), and Oprah's story about ordering Starbucks proves that baristas couldn't give two sh*ts about our names.
The interviewer asked the Wrinkle In Time co-stars what kind of errands they still run for themselves, like pumping their own gas. Oprah and Kaling said they don't, but Witherspoon apparently still does. "I've got to just say, I wouldn't know what to do," Oprah admitted. Witherspoon laughed and responded, "You would! It would come back to you." Then came the coffee question. The interviewer asked, "OK, coffee runs to Starbucks. Who goes on their own?" Witherspoon and Oprah said they do, and Kaling just sat there like, "Lol, uh, nope. I do not." After Oprah said she gets her own coffee, Kaling chimed in, saying, "Can you imagine writing 'Oprah' on a coffee cup?" Oprah responded, "OH MY GOD, I just went two days ago and the woman said, 'Name?' and I said, 'Oprah,' and she said, 'How do you spell that?'"
Excuse me, WHAT? First of all, Starbucks barista, let's not sit here and pretend you don't full and well know who Oprah is. That would be ludicrous. Second of all, let's not sit here and pretend that Oprah — a very well-known name, as we have just established — isn't easy to spell. Her name has been famous for decades! Literal decades! She is one of the few celebrities in history who is referred to by only their first name. No one hears the name Oprah and goes, "Who's that?" That'd be like saying the name Beyoncé and saying, "Who's that?" One, the names are unique as hell, meaning there aren't many people in the world with those names. Two, any non-famous person who is named Oprah or Beyoncé is probably named after the celebrities themselves. And three, those said celebrities are two of the most famous people on the planet. Excuse me while I call bullsh*t on your apparent lack of pop culture knowledge, unidentified Starbucks barista!!
The women also talked about how uncomfortable their costumes for A Wrinkle In Time were. They were so impossible to move in, they said, that they couldn't even sit down in them. Witherspoon said of the costumes, "I did this thing where I would always go — 'cause it was so uncomfortable to sit in your costume and you knew you'd have to be standing in it for at least three or four hours — so I always go, 'Is Oprah ready?'" Oprah chimed in and said, "You couldn't sit down, either, so we had leaning stools."
Then Oprah displayed some excellent physical comedy when she impersonated Reese Witherspoon sitting in her costume on set. She said, "Some costumes were better than others. I remember one time you were just like this..."
LOL. Oh, Oprah. You slay me. Let's zoom in on this just for the sake of dank memes, shall we?
When you're literally Oprah and a Starbucks barista doesn't know how to spell your name.
Oprah be like, "BRUH." Honestly, I don't know what I'm more excited about: A Wrinkle In Time to finally release in theaters, or all of the stories we have still yet to learn about Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, and Mindy Kaling's friendship that came out of making the movie. Bless these women. Bless Ava DuVernay. Bless A Wrinkle In Time. But no blessings for the Starbucks barista. Bye!