The most difficult part about leaving the nest doesn't always have anything to do with being thrown into society and combating the ups and downs of adulting. It may generally revolve around the fact that you're leaving mama bear for the first time, because you were basically born attached to her. There are numerous ways to cope with living away from your mom for the first time — and when you're really missing her, you'd like to think you've already tried them all.
If the dramatics were at their highest when you finally said goodbye, sad songs were probably streaming on repeat as you unpacked your things in your new place (and it slightly destroyed you). It may have even made you realize that you never really stop needing your parents in some way, shape, or form. It doesn't matter how old you get.
Yeah, the struggle was all too real. The mom and daughter relationship is a complex and unique connection, though. No two relationships are ever alike, which means that time of separation summoned a vast scale of emotions from different ladies. I asked several women — all with differing relationships with their mom — how they dealt with parting from her, and their answers didn't skimp on sincerity and subtle bluntness.
This woman makes time to catch up with her mom every single day.
I never really developed any good coping skills after moving out of my parents house. But I will say, I appreciate my mother more than ever. I actually try to spend more time with her now because I really do miss my mommy and me time. I cope with calling her everyday and checking in.
— Jamie, 27
They still watch their favorite show together.
When I was growing up, one of the things my mom and I loved to do together was watching Law & Order: SVU. When I moved away from home to go to college, we made a special point of continuing to watch the show and discussing it together, even if we couldn't physically be in the same place when we watched. It's been almost seven years since I moved out and it's still one of our favorite traditions.
— Hannah, 24
She reaches out to her mom for advice and guidance.
I moved out when I was 20 years old, so it was very hard because my mom was pretty much the one who would handle my doctors appointments and she would cook for us, so once I moved out it was like holy crap, now what? I have to do it all myself. I would call her like crazy too because I missed her & ask her how to make certain foods and ask her for advice. I learned so much from my mom & feel like because of her I can handle anything that comes my way.
— Alejandra, 25
This woman's mom left, but not without teaching her how to run things — and she's so thankful for that.
My mom left us. She left me to care for 1 elementary kid, a high schooler, a college kid, and a dad who was in pieces. My dad took care of most of the finances but I had to take care of the rest. Cooking, cleaning, pick ups/ drop offs, school meetings, emotional support and so on. My mom taught me to take care of the household a long time ago, so when she left I was pretty much kept doing what I was doing. Her leaving made me realize how capable I was and how much smoother things ran once everyone worked together. I didn’t realize until I moved in with my BF that not everyone knows how to run a household. Not everyone knows how to cook and clean. Since moving out I’ve not only not had to call anyone to ask about how to do something, but I’ve also taught others (my sisters, my bf) how to do things. It’s a weird little confidence boost. All in all even though I’m not on speaking terms with her every now and then I do think “thank goodness my mom taught me how to do this."
— Jennifer, 25
She bolted from home right after high school, but still made time for phone calls with Mom every day.
I moved away to New York right after high school to get away from my mom, but ended up calling her every day.
— Anastacia, 24
Pictures, meaningful knick-knacks, and quotes trump the miles.
I have a really close relationship with my mom and consider her to be one of my best friends. When I moved away to college, I was so incredibly excited to begin this new chapter of my life — but couldn't help but feel sad living away from my mom for the very first time. I had pictures and little things throughout my new room that reminded me of her. Of course, we also texted every day and she would always send me quotes and articles that made me smile when I was missing her the most. She was always right there in so many ways, even though she was physically three hours away.
— Alexa, 24
She was already used to facing some obstacles alone.
I was about 19 and I needed to get my passport for my first trip out of the country. My mom had given me what she thought was my birth certificate, but it was really an abstract. I remember calling her for help and she didn’t know the difference, let alone help me figure it out. So I had to do it on my own, and that’s how I learned to do most things as an adult. I couldn’t call my mom for advice on anything really, and that was tough. But it’s made me resilient and independent and I can’t wait to have a daughter to give that to.
— Jazz, 26
The roles of a mother and daughter are never finite. In fact, the terms and relationships are being innovated every single day. The bonds obviously vary, but somehow, something beautiful, self-gaining, or cherishing comes out of many of them.