Things the world may never fully understand: the Bermuda Triangle, the lost colony of Roanoke, the Loch Ness monster, and vaginal orgasms. Just like Nessie sightings, G-spot orgasms are something several people claim to have experienced, though no one can actually prove their existence with 100% certainty. The result: a lot of fruitless searching, frustration, and disappointment. Long believed to be the key to achieving vaginal orgasm, experts are now questioning whether the G-spot is real or a myth. As Nicole Prause, PhD, a neuroscientist who studies orgasms and sexual arousal, recently told Cosmopolitan, there isn't any substantial evidence that the G-spot is an area or an organ — or if the vagina even has one.
The term "G-spot" was first coined in the early '80s by sexologist Beverly Whipple, PhD, and her researchers, who described the G-spot as a "sensitive" "small bean" that serves as a powerful erogenous zone. Unfortunately, her well-intentioned discovery was widely misinterpreted. Despite referring to it as a "bean," she and her researchers didn't actually mean the G-spot was, you know, a literal spot. "G-spot" was intended to encompass an erogenous "area," but somehow, people got the idea that this magic orgasm button existed and they ran with it.
Over the years, the G-spot has become synonymous with powerful vaginal orgasms, and many believe that finding it is necessary for satisfying sex. The problem: No one has a map, and it's not for lack of trying. In 2012, urologist Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky and his colleagues reviewed 29 studies — including surveys, vaginal tissue biopsies, nerve studies, and ultrasounds — and they didn't find any conclusive evidence of the G-spot's existence. Nearly six years later, scientists dissected the front portion of the vaginal wall of 13 cadavers, and again, they failed to find this distinct anatomic entity. And yet still people believe they can find (or even that they have found) what a team of scientists hasn't.
I spoke to Moushumi Ghose, owner and founder of Los Angeles Sex Therapy, and she explained how the elusive G-spot affects her own clients' sex lives. "There's a lot of hype about the G-spot," she says, "and perhaps the most exciting thing about G-spot orgasms is the possibility of squirting or vaginal ejaculation." However, just as everyone achieves orgasm in their own ways, G-spot stimulation isn't a guarantee for ejaculation. "While the G-spot's existence is in question, it is still very much known that those with vaginas ejaculate sometimes during orgasm," Ghose adds. "It's also true that many orgasms happen without ejaculation, and sometimes ejaculation happens without a full-blown orgasm."
But because the idea of the G-spot persists, it continues to elude and frustrate many of those who try to locate it. "I think the most stressful source for people is trying to understand how to achieve vaginal ejaculation. We live in a very male-informed society that purports ejaculation as a sign of sexual prowess or something that we should strive for." As a result, those who can't manage to make their partner of any gender ejaculate feel shame, while those who haven't yet experienced G-spot stimulation feel like they're being denied something special.
According to Ghose, it shouldn't matter whether or not the G-spot really exists. As she points out, not everyone experiences vaginal ejaculation, and finding the mythical G-spot isn't going to change that. "It is important to know that those with vaginas can experience amazing full-blown orgasms without ever ejaculating in their life," she says. Failing to find your G-spot doesn't mean you're missing out a on toe-curling, mind-blowing, life-changing experience because — for all anyone knows — the whole idea of the G-spot is total BS.
Rather than embarking on an impossible sexual scavenger hunt, try spending more time in bed communicating with your partner, telling them what feels good and what will help you achieve orgasm. IMO, everyone would be better off ditching the G-spot search all together and turning their attention to the clitoris, since that's an erogenous zone that everyone can and should be able to find.
Moushumi Ghose, owner and founder of Los Angeles Sex Therapy