Here's How To Know If You're Texting Too Much In A Relationship, According To An Expert

by Korey Lane

Texting is as common as breathing in today's world, and that's great for a lot of reasons — especially when it comes to relationships. Sure, you might not want to be constantly attached to your phone, but if you're in a long-distance relationship (or friendship!), texting is practically a Godsend when you can't be close to your bae. But everyone has different texting habits, which can make texting with a partner complicated at first. You don't want to text too little, but texting too much in relationships can in fact be detrimental if both partners aren't on the same page.

"Texting is subjective," matchmaking and dating expert Stef Safran tells Elite Daily. "For some people, they might prefer to text over talking because they are not phone people. For others texting is a way to keep things less emotional and intimate." Every couple has a different relationship dynamic, so it may take some time to develop a communication style that works for you. If texting is your primary form of day-to-day communication, that isn't a bad thing. However, relying solely on texting isn't a good idea either.

If constantly texting makes you feel uncomfortable, keeps you from carrying out your regular tasks, or makes you feel like you're always on your phone and not really experiencing, well, life, then you might want to consider initiating a conversation with your partner. Plus, texting isn't always the best way to communicate if what you're talking about is emotionally charged. It's one thing to check in throughout the day and see how the other is doing, but if you're texting so much that you have the majority of your intense conversations and fights via text, you might want to either hop on the actual phone if you're in a long-distance relationship, or meet IRL.

"You should be making sure that you are not depending on text as the main form of communication, as texts can often be misconstrued," Safran says. "Couples should agree that when dealing with more serious problems and issues, that texting is off limits. It may be easy to press 'send' but it also can have some serious consequences."

How many of us are guilty of wrongly interpreting something our partners have said over text because we couldn't gauge their tone? If you raised your hand, you're not alone. When it comes to heavy subjects, IRL conversations are always best. But if both you and your partner are comfortable with the amount of texting that's happening on the reg (even if most people consider it "too much"), then that is between you and your partner. Just make sure that your arrangement is something you're both comfortable with.

"Everything comes down to communication," Safran says. "You have to communicate your needs to your partner. If they refuse to listen (literally) and continue to communicate in a way that only works for them, then the relationship isn't going to be comfortable."

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