How Much Texting Is Too Much When You’re Dating Someone? Here’s What Experts Say Is Healthy
There's no denying the prominent role texting plays in most of our lives. More often than not, being able to stay in contact with everyone we care about (in between more time-consuming phone calls or video chats) is a good thing. But when it comes to dating, it can be easy for texting to become a communication crutch that can create distance between you and your partner. If you've ever found yourself wondering how much texting is too much when you're dating, then you definitely aren't alone. It's always important to remember that every relationship is different, so there are very few hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. The key to ensuring that your texting habits are "healthy" is to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about the frequency with which you both hit send.
"Texting 'too often' doesn't mean it's unhealthy, as long as both partners have similar expectations around the frequency of texting," licensed marriage and family therapist Anita Chlipala told Elite Daily.
If, however, it seems like you or your SO's expectations surrounding texting aren't in sync, then that could mean it's time to re-evaluate how often you are communicating via text.
According to author and relationship expert Alexis Nicole White, if most of your communication when you're not together is via text, then there could be some issues on the horizon. "Any time majority of the conversation is non-oral communication, and everything relies on texting, this can be highly problematic," White tells Elite Daily.
White also points out that it's not just about how much you text, but also, what you're texting about. "If all major issues that should be addressed face to face are done via text [and/or] the individual never answers or returns calls," this is also a sign that the communication in your relationship may be out of whack, says White.
TBH, we've all probably experienced the weirdness of confronting someone we're dating via text about something that definitely should be hashed out face-to-face. While it certainly may be easier for some people to articulate themselves clearly, concisely and calmly through the distance of messaging, it's important to remember that humans aren't wired to interpret communication through words alone, Jeff Thompson, Ph.D, writes in Psychology Today.
Dr. Paul Schoenfeld of The Everett Clinic explained that body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are all examples of facets of communication that can get lost in a text message. These lapses in effective communication can be damaging and should be dealt with sooner rather than later, White says. "Address it, immediately. Some individuals do not know they text too much. But if their behavior doesn’t change, that’s an issue. [But], periodically checking in or having short communication is fine," she White.
While it might be tricky to start a serious conversation with your partner about something as casual-seeming as texting, being able to make adjustments so that both partners are satisfied with the frequency of communication is so important. On the other hand, if you both text a ton and it's working for you then don't feel like you have you conform to what's "normal". "Normal" means different things to different people. As long as whatever system the two of you have in place works for you, your texting habits are just fine.
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