Is It OK To Kiss On The First Date? Guys Get Honest With How They Feel About It
Here's a classic dating dilemma: if you're out with someone new, and it's going ridiculously well, is it OK to kiss on the first date? Or is it better to wait until the second date, when you're both a little more comfortable with each other, or when the moment is right, or when you strategically chose not to order garlic bread with dinner, or when you've both established that you're looking for something serious instead of casual?
Ultimately, I don't think the timing or quality of a first kiss holds any great significance for how the rest of the relationship plays out. One of my favorite first kisses — snuck between sips of champagne at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve with a hunky lawyer who raised chickens, just an hour after we met — fizzled straight into nothing. And to be honest, I don't even remember my first kiss with the guy who became my most meaningful relationship.
Kiss on the first date, kiss on the 10th date — whatever! I don't think there are any bad choices here. As long as both people are into the kiss, it's cool.
But hey, that's just my opinion. In the name of research, I fired up Tinder and asked 10 eligible bachelors if they thought it was all right to kiss to on the first date. Here's how it went.
Points right out of the gate for Sangwon, who name-checks consent and society's weird obsession with stigmatizing sexual behavior. Snaps for Sangwon.
Cheers to James for the same reason — he says he typically leans toward a kiss on the first date, but wouldn't make a move unless his date was down.
Is it cynical of me to wonder if all these guys are promoting the importance of consent in the wake of the sexual assault allegations against Harvey Weinstein and the viral #MeToo hashtag? I'm sorry, I'm a monster.
Maybe I just stumbled upon an exceptionally thoughtful, well-mannered bunch of dudes.
Taylor smoothly turned my opening line into an opportunity to hit on me, so I sent him a flirty One Tree Hill GIF, otherwise known as the universal mating call of pop culture-savvy Millennial women everywhere.
Brenden told me he "definitely" approves of making moves on a first date, then requested to meet up IRL.
Things got silly with Ari.
I don't even know, you guys. Sometimes Tinder banter gets weird. It's like an improv class — you run with whatever your partner gives you. If it devolves into bizarre jokes about f*cking at the end of the world, so be it. I don't make the rules.
Aman said that kissing on date numero uno is "too soon and probably would feel forced." He explained that you "have to ease into it," because "the best and most meaningful kisses are not just when there's physical attraction, but more when two minds are aligned."
Whereas Aakash went the opposite direction by announcing he'd "probably push [me] up against the wall," then back-tracking to ask me out for dinner. Honestly, my conversation with Aakash was really cute to watch, because each message came in about a minute after the last, as if he panicked that what he said was totally wrong and rushed to fix it.
Jared was the only person who took the stance that you should always kiss on the first date. When I challenged him — "What if the moment isn't quite right, though?" — he countered that perfect moments don't always occur naturally on their own.
I don't think he meant it in a creepy way; I think he meant that any date has the potential to be something special. And that's a really beautiful way of looking at dating.
The consensus: Most guys are willing to kiss on the first date, and they certainly won't judge you if you do. So do whatever feels right in the moment.
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