Everyone has their own specific set of turn-ons, but few things are easier to actually do than talk dirty in the bedroom. It may feel a little awkward at first, but once you get the hang of it, it can do amazing things for your sex life. But, is dirty talk healthy? It's hard to believe that raunchy, rough sex-talk can positively impact a relationship, but I reached out to experts who told me that dirty talk can, in fact, bring couples closer together.
Before delving into the ins and outs of dirty talk, it's important to have a firm grasp on what it actually is. "Dirty talk often refers to any communication that is intended to arouse sexual desire and/or pleasure," Jess O’Reilly, creator of the Drive Him Wild video course, tells Elite Daily. "But the term dirty is a bit of a misnomer. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be raunchy or dirty in a subversive or perforative sense. It can be sweet, romantic, loving, edgy and even funny."
There's nothing wrong with dirty talk, and if you enjoy it, then good for you!
On the other hand, there is a caveat. According to O'Reilly, it's crucial for you and your partner to only engage in dirty talk if it's pleasurable for both of you. "Dirty talk can be healthy as long as the language and content aligns with the themes and topics that turn you on," she explains.
You both have to be into it for it to be a good thing. "One of the biggest mistakes couples make with dirty talk is consent," Lola Jean, sex educator and co-host of Is Our Love ___?, tells Elite Daily. "If someone is using dirty talk — is their partner okay with that? Have they had a conversation about the role of dirty talk or how they like to be treated sexually?" Make sure you're both on the same page. As Jean says, "The breadth of dirty talk is huge. It is important to establish a norm, as in: When we dirty talk via sexting, what happens there, stays there, unless we have a discussion to bring what was said into our sex life." Perhaps the most important part of dirty talk is that you and your partner "Create a foundation of truth," Jean suggests.
Now, keeping all of that in mind, it's also important to know that dirty talk can be seriously amazing. "Dirty talk can take pleasure to new heights, as it allows you to weave fantasies, play roles and explore topics through words alone — without having to play out these scenarios in real life," O'Reilly says. "For example, you can talk about having a threesome and rile one another up with the fantasy without actually having a threesome. You can talk about all the things you’re going to do to build anticipation, but you don’t actually have to to them." As long as you have that foundation of truth Jean suggested, you're good to go.
Exchanging some naughty words with your partner before or during sex can be truly exhilarating, and more than that, it can help you both grow closer. "Dirty talk can help you to explore desires and set boundaries so that you better understand one another," O'Reilly says. As long as you're both comfortable, dirty talk is totally healthy, so go ahead — whisper sweet, naughty nothings in your partner's ear.