New Year's Eve Kisses Made Me Feel Bad About Being Single Until I Redefined Them

New Year's Eve is around the corner, which means it's time for me to attempt to stop rehashing what happened in 2018 and start dreaming about all I hope to accomplish in 2019. While I can be really hard on myself for resolutions left unfulfilled, I'm trying to appreciate everything wonderful that did happen in the past year. Part of not being so hard on myself is taking a more relaxed attitude towards dating and focusing on being my best self — #vibehigherbaby. So this NYE, I'm single, and the New Year's Eve kiss tradition has been bumming me out — so I reframed the way I thought about it.

New Year's Eve is meaningful for many reasons. The stroke of midnight symbolizes a transformation, marking the beginning of the new year and the emergence of a potentially new you. And of course, you're traditionally "supposed to" mark the moment with a kiss. But why do we smooch someone at midnight on NYE? Well, according to Entertaining from Ancient Rome to the Super Bowl: An Encyclopedia., as reported by USA Today, English and German folklore held the superstition that the first person you encounter in the new year determines the course of that year, and if you didn't kiss someone on New Year's, you'd endure a year of loneliness and have a very unlucky love life. (Cool, cool.)


When you mark a transformative moment like the stroke of midnight on NYE with a kiss, doesn't that mean your transformation is dependent upon someone else? Just as a sleeping princess waiting for a kiss from a prince before she can go live her life feels problematic, requiring a pair of willing lips to meet yours in order for your next year to not be a huge bummer feels off. Why do you have to kiss someone else in order to become a better version of yourself? While I strongly believe that kisses are dope and you should snag (and give) as many as you possibly can, I don't believe that you need a NYE kiss to start the year off with a bang.

While I'm genuinely glad my coupled-up friends can get their smooch on at midnight this NYE, this year I'm not glancing at the door, hoping for a last minute appearance from my future boyfriend (or Jason Momoa), and I'm not worried one bit about the prospect of a loveless upcoming year. Because my happiness doesn't depend on another person — it's up to me.


Let's redefine the moment of the stroke of midnight. Let's think of it more like a wish on a birthday candle, or a prayer, or an intention during a meditation. After all, what we really need to make sure we start the new year on the right foot is the best of intentions. This year I'm intending to be happy, I'm intending to kick some serious ass, and be a great friend. And I don't think I need a smooch at midnight to be sure those intentions come true!

Last New Year's I was in a relationship, but I spent the evening with friends instead of my boyfriend (which is a story for another time!) While I was originally bummed not to celebrate with him, that feeling quickly faded as I danced the night away and had literally the best time ever with my dear friends. There was no talk of not having a New Year's kiss, and we've all had pretty great 2018s. So while I'm single now, I'm still looking forward to celebrating with that same crew of friends, marking the stroke of midnight with an intention to live my best life, and showing 2019 who's boss. (Hint — it's me!) Cheers!