If You’re In Love But Need More Physically, You'll Relate To These 5 Stories
Relationships can be inherently complicated — that's kind of the name of the game — and it's definitely possible to be head over heals in love, but need more physically. Maybe your sex life with your partner used to be hot, hot, hot, but now the flames have fizzled out. Maybe you're in a new relationship with someone and they check all of your boxes, except for in the physical connection column. Whatever the case, it's not uncommon to be totally in love with someone but feel a little empty in the touch department.
An unsatisfactory physical relationship can be utterly confusing and wear down an otherwise seemingly perfect relationship. Some people are just more physically affectionate than their partners, whether it's in the form of PDA, cuddling during alone time, or how often you are actually getting it on. For many women, it can be tough to know what to do or how to talk through a less-than-satisfactory sex life. You don't want to hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend's feelings, but it's also something that might not be healthy to keep to yourself. Remember, needing more physically does not mean there is anything wrong with you — nor are you and your partner at fault.
I talked to five women who are (or were) completely infatuated with their significant others, but who feel like something is missing as far as sex and physical connection are concerned. Are you in love but need more physically? You'll relate to these five stories.
The Snuggle Struggle Is Real
I am considerably more physically affectionate (mostly nonsexual things like hand-holding and snuggling) with my partner of about four years, and it's been a constant struggle. I feel undesirable, and he feels like I'm being needy. We're in therapy and working on it, but so much of the time I'm initiating, asking him to initiate, or I know he's being conscientious of my needs but doesn't feel compelled to be affectionate naturally.
— Sarah, 29
Boyfriend With The Good Hair
My boyfriend and I always had a good sex life but recently he started taking hair growth pills and his sex drive has gone down the drain. So frustrating. We have gone two months with no sex. [I] didn’t realize how sh*tty and unsexy it can make you feel to go long periods without sex! I am giving him an ultimatum this weekend — me or hair.
— Maria, 26
In Love, But Lacking
I am so in love with my boyfriend, but he often doesn’t even act attracted to sex. Doesn’t initiate, doesn’t take the same actions that I’ve seen other guys take. Meaning, if I walk around in my underwear, try to touch him to get him going, he can totally stay focused on whatever he’s doing. When we do have sex, it’s amazing. But getting there is a different story. Definitely makes me confused as to if he’s even attracted to me in that way sometimes and I’ve had to ensure myself that it’s surely not me.
— Rebecca, 22
How Often Is Often Enough?
So, so in love with my partner, but I seem to want sex much more frequently than he does, which is really one of our only issues in our three-plus year relationship. When we do have sex, it is amazing and I'm satisfied, but the amount of sex and how often I want it (every day — is that too much for a girl to ask?!) versus how often he wants it (one-to-two times a week) is definitely something we're trying to figure out and work on.
— Claire, 28*
The Sexual Roller Coaster
My boyfriend and I go through waves where we can’t keep our hands off one another and then we won’t have sex for a week. It drives me insane because I need physical intimacy to really feel connected emotionally. I miss the honeymoon phase of dating where everything’s amazing.
— Shelby, 28
For many women, it can be a total bummer to have a stronger sex drive than your partner. At times, it might make you feel unattractive and completely confused about the fate of your relationship. But remember: This truly isn't the case. Sometimes, conversations about sex are tough to have, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have them.
A healthy sex life might be just as important as intellectual connection. If you're smitten with your bae, it's worth hashing out the ins and outs of both your emotional and physical relationship. By communicating openly and honestly, you might just begin to find common ground, in the bedroom and beyond.. Good luck — true love deserves the chance!
*Names have been changed.