OK, let's get something straight, folks. You don't have to be a Katy Perry fan to be familiar with the phrase "the one who got away." The term is super common in popular culture, romantic comedies, and music, but when you really analyze its meaning, it can be kind of concerning. It's even more worrisome when you are concerned that your partner thinks their ex is the one who got away. Because the phrase is so often romanticized, it can be hard to discern if your partner really feels this way about their ex. I talked to Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the podcast breakup BOOST, about how to know if your partner thinks their ex is really the one who got away.
Leckie's main advice is that if you have a concern about your relationship or partner's behavior, you should try talking to them about it. "You should feel as though you can communicate about everything in your relationship and work together through each challenge that comes your way," stresses Leckie. Healing is a process, so if your partner is still sore about an ex in their past, that doesn't exactly mean their ex was the love of their life. According to Leckie, there's a difference between a sore spot in your dating past and truly seeing an ex as "the one who got away." What it comes down to is excessive contact, secrecy, and comparison. If any of these ring a bell for you, it might be worth it to look a little closer. Check out the following red flags, and don't be afraid to have a candid conversation with your partner about what you've been feeling.