Woman texting and talking on the phone.
4 Texting Signals That Your Match Is Trying To Flex

by Ginny Hogan

Maybe you're texting someone new and you're super into them. However, perhaps you're not so sure about their intentions. At the start of a new romantic encounter, it can be tough to tell what the other person is trying to do. For example, if they seem like they're showing off, it's possible that your match is trying to flex. According to marketing company Strategy Lab, flexing can look like someone trying to impress you or boast, and it can sometimes mean they're not being completely genuine. Flexing isn't necessarily a bad thing — why wouldn't the person you're seeing try to impress you? Not everyone is bothered by flexing, and it can be part of a healthy relationship. However, it can also suggest that your crush isn't being their most authentic self. So, I spoke to an expert to get the clues for you that your crush may be trying to flex.

Texting can be an easy method for flexing. For one thing, a lot of communication happens via text, so it makes sense that someone would try to flex then. Furthermore, if you're not face-to-face with someone, they might have an easier time bringing up their accomplishments. The way someone texts can provide clues as to whether or not they're flexing, and this way, you'll have a better idea of their intentions.

Read on to find four texting signals that the new cutie you're seeing is trying to flex.

Lots Of Selfies

Pleased tanned asian girl gently smiling while her african friend making selfie. Indoor portrait of glad black woman with smartphone taking picture of herself on pink background near hispanic lady.


Sending a lot of selfies can be a signal that your crush is trying to flex. "If you’re getting a lot of selfies from your partner, they are trying to show off their appearance, their lifestyle, their accomplishments, and their social lives," relationship and etiquette expert April Masini tells Elite Daily. They may want praise for the way they look, and that can be totally OK. However, if you're not a fan of too many selfies, it can be helpful to bring it up with your partner. "For instance, you can say 'You sure are hot, but I don’t need 10 beach body shots to know that' or something similar," Masini says. By communicating clearly, you can make sure you're both on the same page.

Open Brags

Your partner might be flexing if they openly tell you all about their accomplishments. "If your partner is constantly sending you texts that are bragging about things, that’s a sign that they are showing off and using texts to do so," Masini says. It's totally normal to update your partner, crush, or anyone else on your accomplishments, but it in excess, it can also be a sign of flexing that you should be aware of.

Other People's Praise

Group of friends toasting to becoming year!


Sometimes, your partner might try to let you know that other people also like them, in an attempt to make you jealous. "If your partner is sending you screenshots of other people liking their photos or other people complimenting them, that’s a way of flexing on text," Masini says. This could be because they're trying to show you they're desirable to other people in order to provoke you, and if that bothers you, communicate that directly to them. "You can try some behavior modification by ignoring the flex texting and instead, like or respond to the other texts that are not flexing," Masini says. "Your partner will learn where he or she is getting approval and focus on those transactions."

Some Insecurity

If your partner alternates any of the above signals with insecurity, it could be because they're flexing to cover up something they don't feel great about. "Flexing excessively is a sign of insecurity," Masini says. "Instead of criticizing your partner or pointing out this issue, learn from it. Decide if this is someone you want to be with." Sometimes, something like sending a selfie followed by a disparaging comment about their own appearance could be a sign that they're insecure, and it's up to you to decide how to best support them. You know your relationship best, and what may seem like flexing from the outside might actually be a deep-seated insecurity on the inside.

Not all flexing is innately bad. In fact, many people enjoy it. However, understanding the signs that your partner or new crush might be flexing can be helpful in getting to know them better. If their flexing grows excessive or begins to bother, try opening up an honest conversation about it. And if you feel like flexing from time to time, don't hold back — you're awesome, and it's great to let people know!