If you didn’t feel a physical attraction on a first date, experts advise giving it a second chance —...
9 Tips For Feeling A Connection On A First Date

by Ginny Hogan
Originally Published: 

The first date can feel absolutely magical. Sometimes you meet someone you really click with and the time just flies by. However, other times the dates can feel like they're moving more slowly, and you wish you felt more for the other person. Meeting someone new can be tough, but if you want to feel a connection on the first date, there are some tricks to make that happen. After all, chemistry can come easily, but you'll need to commit yourself to being open to the person you're on a date with.

I went on a first date a few months ago and initially felt no spark. However, he was kind and funny, and I knew he was someone I'd like to see again. I decided to try putting aside my reservations about our initial interaction and really stay present on the date. After all, I've gone on tons of really fun first dates where I felt a strong connection, only to later decide the guy was not a great person, so I figured maybe I shouldn't make decisions based on first impressions. And I was right — with this date, I found that by the end of three hours, I was super connected to him, and we continued seeing each other.

If you're interested in feeling a connection on a first date, try these nine tips.

Ask Questions

Two happy students learning together on line with a tablet and taking notes sitting in a park


Asking questions is a great way to create a connection. Your date will appreciate that you're interested in their life, and you'll learn more about them. This way, you might uncover overlapping interests you wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

Be Honest

If you show who you really are and what you're looking for, you might have a better chance of connecting with your date. After all, you want them to know the real you so that they know who they're getting close to — plus, the real version of you is the best!

Show Off Your Sense Of Humor

Nothing bonds two people together quite like humor (I've also childhood-bonded in the past, but that's neither here nor there). Show your funny side by letting down your guard and allowing your true sense of humor to shine through. If you share a knack for certain jokes, you may begin to notice a spark.

Suggest An Activity You're Comfortable With

Portrait of a happy romantic couple with coffee walking outdoors in old european city


You want to feel like yourself on the date, and part of that can mean feeling comfortable. Choose a location or activity that makes you feel like yourself, and you can then focus your energy on connecting with your date, not getting comfortable in the space.

Tell Stories

Your date wants to know more about you! Tell stories from your past or present that provide further insight into who you really are. After all, when you're connecting with someone, you're not just getting to know who they are now — you're learning about what their life has been like up until this point.

Face Them

Body language is critical. Try to choose an activity where you can be facing your date so they can make eye contact with you while you hang out and chat. This can really help two people feel like they're bonding.

Go Somewhere You Can Talk

While body language matters a great deal, so does being able to speak with someone in depth. When going on a first date, try to choose somewhere the two of you can really talk. Consider going on a walk, to a quiet coffee shop, or a low-key restaurant. Movies and shows are fun, but you might not feel like you're getting to know them if you're not really engaging in conversation.

Don't Think About The Ending

Couple date. Teenagers drinking milkshake outdoors, wearing casual clothes walking in the city, copy space


I get so nervous on first dates, and I always overthink whether or not we're going to hook up. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can take away from my ability to stay present. If possible, try to put the ending of the date out of your mind so you can really stay present in the moment.

Find Commonalities

This is where asking questions comes in — if you have something in common with someone, you may feel more connected to them. Maybe you both love the same TV show or both grew up in big cities. Find something to bond over, and you have a better chance of feeling a connection.

Who wouldn't want to feel connected to you on a first date? You're awesome! I only hope your date gets the pleasure of your company. These tips will help make sure the two of you feel like you're on a roll, regardless of where you go or what you do. And above all else, enjoy your first date!

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