If you're anything like me, nothing fills you with a deep and creeping sense of existential dread quite like that time of year when everything around you takes on a hell-scape of red and pink hues and comes in inexplicable heart-shaped boxes. Yep, I'm talking about Valentine's Day, the least-most-romantic day of the year, where singles are made to feel like failures and relationships feel like prison walls. But guess what? There is an escape: If you don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day, you don’t have to. And yes, that's still true, even if you are fully boo-ed up and locked down.
Celebrating this "holiday" is voluntary, no matter what Hallmark, 1-800-Flowers, or that heart-shaped Whitman's sampler box tells you. You can opt out at any time. In fact, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to kick V-Day to the curb for good. That way, you can end your annual, zombie-like march to the local Walgreens to fill your cart with sentimental cards, flowers, chocolates, and teddy bears that desperately clutch at their satin "Be Mine" hearts. If that nightmarish mental picture isn't reason enough to bid ol' St. Val adieu, here are five more.
1. Romantic Love Isn’t The Only Kind That Matters
Love comes in many forms, and no one kind is better than the other, but that’s not the message that Valentine's day sends. It can be exclusionary to any relationship (or lack thereof) that does't fit within its strict parameters of relationships "worth" celebrating — and it can also be heteronormative AF. So if you must celebrate love in February, maybe buck convention and celebrate Galentine's day instead.
2. Valentine's Day Is Totally Redundant
Having a special day to focus on your partner and really celebrate your love is a great and beautiful thing. I highly recommend it. But that day is called "your anniversary." And that date actually matters because it’s a date that has significance to the relationship you're celebrating.
3. Valentine's Day Traditions Are Corny AF
Just thinking about the intense corniness of Valentine’s Day makes my teeth chatter. Go ahead and miss me on anything involving a Cupid. Call me a weirdo, but flying diaper babies just don't get my heart all aflutter. Also, I don’t need cutesy stuffed animals, candy hearts that taste like dust, and, despair, a bunch of stinky red roses or to split a molten lava cake with anyone. Wait, hold up... I went a little too far there. Molten lava cake gets a pass 365 days a year.
4. It's All Just A Holiday Card Conspiracy Anyway, Right?
You know this is just "Big Card Company" trying to dip their hands back in your pocket, right? Yep, it's true. Valentine's Day is all one big commercial scam orchestrated by the chocolate and greeting card industries. Pretty dark stuff, huh? And I don’t know about you, but I'm still recovering from Christmas. Homegirl has some debt. The last thing I need to spend my money on is a stuffed animal that’s gonna end up in a landfill anyway.
5. Besides, Who Needs That Kind Of Pressure Anyway?
There is enough going on the world today to stress you out, so why add the pressure of performative romance? So many expectations, so many opportunities for failure and disappointment. Seriously, who needs it? Or, God forbid, you’re single and everyone wants to know what your V-Day plans are. Screw. That. Instead of trying to cram all your love celebrations into one day, resolve to show love the rest of the year and take Valentine's Day off. Or better yet, turn it into a day of radical self-love. Reject the pressure and just practice self-care.
Don't get me wrong: Just because I am not down with Valentine's Day, doesn't mean I don't love, well, love. I really do. But I believe in loving on my own terms and in my own way. There is nothing wrong with picking a day to make a point of celebrating love in all its forms. Just make sure it's one that actually means something to you and whomever you are celebrating it with. That being said, chocolate is always welcome.
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