I'm just going to say it — relationships can be tough. Any relationship with another human being can be confusing and complicated, and romantic relationships can be even more so. Even if you and your significant other started out with the best of intentions, if you're having a tough time communicating, are arguing a lot, or questioning your compatibility, you might be considering going your separate ways. If you're unsure and can't decide if you should break up or not, just take a deep breath.
No matter if you've been in a relationship for one month, one year, or more, deciding to split can still be a really rough decision to make. Trust me, I've been there. Having doubts about your relationship can make you feel unstable, unsupported, and maybe a little lost. Having turmoil in your romantic relationship is super stressful, and if you and your partner have been trying to work things out, or sweeping issues under the rug, you probably need a big glass of wine and a hug. (Come over, I have both those things.) While deciding to breakup or not, the first thing you should try to do is to be kind to yourself. Engage in some positive and self-affirming thinking, listen to your intuition, and repeat these three mantras.
Sometimes an unfulfilling relationship or a dysfunctional dynamic can erode your self-esteem, so remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. Remind yourself that your happiness is just as important as your partner's (or anyone else's, really). Knowing this could help you determine whether or not your relationship is serving your happiness. While your partner, friends, or work can certainly bring you joy, you alone are in charge of your own happiness. If your relationship feels toxic, makes you feel bad about yourself, or drags you down, then you are not happy. And you should be!
Sometimes the spark of romance in a relationship dims and if you feel like your connection with your partner is fading, you might not be feeling very loved. Remind yourself that you deserve to be loved — even if you have low self-esteem from a bad relationship, or you feel lonely even though you have a partner. Your partner deserves to be loved, too, and if you're not engaging together in a healthy and nuturing way, you might not be able to provide that to each other. There's no shame in admitting that, and doing so could free you both up to find a partner and a relationship that is fulfilling.
If you're considering staying in a dysfunctional relationship (or even just a meh relationship) because you're afraid of being alone or don't want to hurt anyone, remind yourself that everything will be OK. Breakups are hard and can be really traumatizing, but time really does heal all wounds, and you, my dear queen, are going to be OK.
Remember that while breakups are tough, they're also an opportunity for you to grow. You can learn a lot about yourself by going through challenging experiences, so if these mantras have helped you to decide to leave your relationship, don't worry. You got this.
