It's all too easy to dismiss good advice when you're in love. That's why personal love tarot card readings should be approached with caution. When I started learning how to use tarot cards, I was absolutely heartbroken. Traumatized from a failed relationship, I used the tools irresponsibly. If I didn't get an outcome that I liked, I tried a different spread. If I felt the cards I pulled didn't give me enough information, I would pull more and more, looking fearfully into the future. Adding or pulling different readings just confused the message: My previous relationship was plagued by obsession and addiction, and I needed to move on. But that wasn't the truth I was ready to know at the time.
Since I have grown and matured in my practice, I have learned that treating tarot dismissively is disrespectful to the universe or spirit realm that is communicating to you through the cards. You might not agree with the obstacles the world throws in your path, but the universe always has your back. If you are able to approach the deck with an attitude of reverence and an understanding that you might not like what you see, then it is possible to get good insight from a love reading you pull for yourself.
If you do not have the tools you need to see clearly now, here is how you can begin to assemble them.
1. Decide What Kind Of Relationship Reading You Want
Do you want to see the past, present, and future of your relationship or love life? Or would it be more beneficial to you to see a picture of your union as it is now? Both readings require the same amount of cards, and both can be strong indicators of where you are headed in the future. However, the two different spreads are better suited to different questions.
If you want to look at what each of you are feeling within the relationship and the bond that is bringing you together or the force that is pushing you apart, then pulling a couple's reading will be most beneficial to you. The first card will represent you in the relationship, the second card will stand for the nature of your union, and the third card will stand for your partner.
If you'd rather look at where you have been and where you will go if you stay on the current path, the first card will stand for your past, the second card, your present, and the third card, your projected future.
2. Take Time To Clear Your Head
Ground yourself before doing a relationship tarot reading, particularly if you feel worried about the state of your love life. Pulling cards without clearing your head first will result in having your worst fears will project upon the deck. Chances are, if you're projecting upon your deck, you will project upon your partner, too — and that means you'll have a high likelihood of making the very future that you don't want for yourself.
Don't read cards if you are at the peak of your stress right now. Wait at least a day for your anxiety to clear. If you only need to push your reset button, taking a long, hot shower, doing yoga, or meditating are all excellent ways to clear your head. Even burning some incense and taking some deep, cleansing breaths can get your energy right for the reading.
Once you've grounded yourself, pay attention to how you shuffle the cards. If you've been doing a lot of readings lately, you should clear the deck first. To empty out old energy, I like to toss the cards on the ground and mix them together like a kid playing in the sandbox. If I've experienced a really trying time or feel myself coming out of an old cycle, I wait until the new moon when I can cleanse the cards by setting them out on my windowsill at night. Then, I gather them up again and start shuffling, waiting for a tingle of intuition to move up my fingers. That's when I know I can stop. If any cards jump out as I shuffle, I include them in the reading. And if I am doing a reading for myself, I give the deck a few benevolent turns in my hand, to wring any negative self-perceptions I might have shuffled into the deck out of it.
3. Don't Pull More Than Three Cards For Yourself
The spirits don't always speak to us clearly. Sometimes, they code their messages because they want it to unfold for us over time. Unless you are a well-seasoned practitioner, pulling more and more cards to clarify the reading will clutter the message for you. This is particularly true if you are tempted to draw more because you don't like where the last one landed.
You also should not shuffle the cards and pull another reading to answer a second question you have about your relationship. Remember when you were a child, annoying your parents by asking them, "Are we there yet?" over and over in the car? You will irritate the spirits if you pester them without giving adequate offerings.
If you don't understand your answer or are wondering what comes next, sit with the answer they gave you the first time, no matter how complicated a riddle it may be. Make a note of the cards or take a picture. Return to it as you move through the days. Eventually, if your third eye is open clearly, their full wisdom will unfold.
4. You Are Not A Victim Of Fate
If you don't like the outcome of your reading, look for advice elsewhere in the cards. What aspects of your reading are setting you on your current path? Reversed cards can indicate different areas of healing or knots that need to be undone. The personality cards can indicate major aspects of what different individuals in your relationship need. Every story is a lesson, no matter how harsh. The universe wants you to learn throughout your cycles of growth.
So even if your relationship reading shows your love is actually a puddle of spilled milk, there's no use crying over it. A wise person once told me that when it comes to milk glasses, the whole intention of the universe is to topple them. Take the lesson. Leave the rest.
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