Online dating is confusing sometimes, because I go on wanting to meet my soulmate, but usually, I just end up making pen pals or getting drinks with douche-y guys. But I swear, I really am looking for love, and part of me thinks I can find it by swiping continuously over and over again on my phone, like I'm online shopping. But when you finally do find someone promising, how can you tell if that Tinder match just wants sex, or if they're actually looking for a relationship? Because I'm ready for a nice dude, not blacked out one-night stand man.
In this digital dating era, people's true intentions can be difficult to decipher. I've been on plenty of dates with men who are clearly just looking for one-night stands. I even went on a date with a guy who, when I told him I wasn't drinking, said to me, "Well, what fun are we gonna have, then?" But on the flip side of that, I've attended weddings of couples — very happy, well-matched couples — who have met on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. So I know that, while finding love online can be rare, it might also be real. So how can you figure out your match's intentions?
Well, apparently there are some signs to look out for when it comes to a match just looking for sex. Online dating coach Eric Resnick tells Elite Daily some ways to figure out if that Tinder match just wants sex, so you don't waste your time and theirs.
"Regardless of your personal intent, the design of most 'swipe apps' is geared toward quick, superficial connections within a video game-style atmosphere," Resnick says.
And it's true. Sometimes (a lot of the time), I'll swipe carelessly without even looking or out of boredom. I don't look at all the photos or read bios. Or I'll even get highly invested in messaging someone for a day and then never return to the interaction again.
But if you are addicted to dating apps, like many of us are "there are several flags you can watch out for if you are trying to avoid people just looking for sex," according to Resnick.
For example, someone who only posts shirtless pics might not be looking for a serious relationship, Resnick explains. Additionally, someone who includes "any mention of looking for someone hot, attractive, sexy, etc." won't be your best bet either. If your match is just after a partner for their appearance, then you can safely assume they aren't looking for someone to introduce to mom and dad. While wanting to date someone you're attracted to is not wrong, narrowing your search to that exclusively isn't great.
According to Resnick, "guys posing with possessions" is also an indicator of specifically men just looking for sex because "it's a solid sign that they know they have nothing real to offer and are really just looking to fill the void in their lives." So if he's posing in front of a private jet, then a) you know it's not his and b) it's time to fly away from that person fast.
Another other red flag? Those people who fill their profiles with hot people of the opposite gender. "Guys posing with a lots of women," Resnick says, are just trying to demonstrate self-worth, most likely run on ego, and are probably serial womanizers. None of that screams relationship material, but it does scream, "I'll probably try to aggressively kiss you when I walk you back to your car!"
Short bios may also be a sign of someone who just wants you in the sack. "If they can't even put in two sentences about who they are and what they want, they aren't really looking for someone who is going to be in their lives for more than a few hours," Resnick explains.
But thankfully, it's not always difficult to decipher if someone is looking for a boo or for booty. Resnick says, "Given the way the sites are designed, people know they are primarily used for hook ups. That being the case, a lot of people will just come out and say it in their profiles."
At least something can be simple these days.
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