So you finally figured out a way to slyly pocket the digits of a new love interest. Now the question is, how do you make them chase you through text? Figuring out how to get the person you're into to frequently initiate texts and respond in a timely fashion can seem a lot harder than it actually is. All of the butterflies and borderline anxiety associated with having a new crush can frankly make acting semi-normal — let alone playing it cool — feel totally impossible. Thankfully, the most important parts of getting to know someone are less about your texting habits and more about showing off your best self. It can be hard to control how someone chooses to respond to communication via text, but it can definitely be a legitimate way of gauging their interest level.
Although I'm typically a believer of being yourself and texting someone whenever you feel like it, regardless of how it comes off, I do understand the urge to keep things mysterious. My only warning would be that once you start trying to manipulate someone via text, it's easy for things to backfire. Now that you've been warned, let's get down to the nitty gritty.
1. Observe Their Texting Habits
If you want to gain the upper hand, first things first, it is important to be observant in the early stages of text exchanges. Ask yourself, what kind of texter are they? Are they a lightening fast texter that is constantly blowing up your phone? Are they a confident texter who has no issues initiating conversations, but then leaves 20 minute gaps between responses? Do they initiate texts from time to tome and then once their bored drop out of the conversation? Before you can assess the best way of keeping someone's interest level high, you have to figure out what their baseline is.
2. Mirror Their Texting Style
Once you've established what kind of texting style they subscribe to, now it's time to give them a taste of their own medicine. In my opinion, the best way to encourage someone new to be super responsive via text without running the risk of too much game-playing is to observe their texting habits and then reflect those same habits back at them minus one.
If you're interested in someone but still want to play it cool, then it's important to give them enough encouragement to keep pursuing, but not too much of your attention too soon. By mimicking their texting habits back at them minus a little bit, you'll not only keep them guessing, but you'll also keep them wanting more.
3. Find A Rhythm
Basically, this means that if they are a fast texter, don't feel the need to go out of your way to keep up with them... but do get back to them in a timely fashion to show that you're interested. If they respond every minute, then maybe you respond every three to five minutes.
If the person isn't afraid to initiate conversations, then you shouldn't be either. Just pretend you're playing a game of ping-pong: Once you've hit the ball, it's in their court.
Now, of course, the ultimate goal is to get to a point where it doesn't really matter who texts who when, because ideally you'll both be equally pumped to hear from one another. But to build this kind of effortless rapport, you'll also need to be spending time together in person, not just pen paling each other. A good way to achieve this is to use texts primarily as a means to make plans to see each other. Then once you've gone out a couple of times, your texting habits with one another should evolve from there.
4. Beware Of Players
The biggest complaint most people have when it comes to texting someone is that they started off really responsive and eager, but have since pulled back. The thing is, if someone is genuinely interested in you, then — unless you're bombarding them with unnecessary and/or crazy messages — your texting style shouldn't matter all that much. People whose interest level is affected by something as secondary as how quickly you do or don't respond to a text message may very well be in it for the thrill of the chase (aka a player). Players love to play, but the minute they lose interest, their attention will shift on a dime.
At the end of the day, being confident in who you are and what you want is the most important thing. If someone is giving you the run-around and taking forever (i.e., hours or days) to text you back, if at all, then my advice is to delete their number and give your attention to someone else who actually values it.