How To Know You're In Love With The Right Person If You're Still Figuring Yourself Out

Ad failed to load

Often, love comes waltzing into our lives when we least expect it. Depending on what else is going on in your life at the time, figuring out how to know you're in love with the right someone isn't always crystal clear. Although it would be amazing if we had the ability to perfectly time the arrival of perfect lovers in our lives, we all know that's just not how things work.

One of the more daunting aspects of falling for someone early on in life is the fact that you may still have some evolving and growing to do — meaning that, eventually, you could outgrow the person you're currently in love with. This possibility may cause many people to feel uncertain and doubtful about their relationship. But don't fret: What you're feeling is completely normal.

While there is always the potential to grow apart from someone, if the foundation of your relationship is solid, then there's opportunity to grow and evolve together — a process that could very well leave you both feeling more certain than ever that you are with the right person. Elite Daily spoke with Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, noted psychotherapist, and Anita A. Chlipala, a licensed marriage and family therapist, about how you can tell you're in love with the right person — at least for the time being.

Ad failed to load

1. You're Happy With Who You Are When You're With Them


This is a biggie! Remember when your mom used to nag you about hanging out with friends she didn't think were a good influence on you? Well, that's because we tend to become like the type of people we choose to surround ourselves with — it's inevitable. This can be a really amazing thing if your partner possesses qualities you admire or value. On the other hand, if you're with someone who isn't the best fit for you, it could cause you to change for the worst.

Ad failed to load

"Too often the desire to stay with someone can prompt you to do things that don't make you proud," says Wish. If you find yourself doing things or behaving in ways that leave you feeling not-so-hot, then this is a major red flag and could mean you aren't with the right person.

2. You're Happy With Who They Are, As They Are Now (Not Just With Their Potential)

Ad failed to load

According to Chlipala, it's important to ask yourself, "Are [you] dating for [your] partner's potential, or do [you] really respect and appreciate [your] partner for who they are?" There's nothing wrong with dating someone who has things they need to work on — we all do — but if you can't see yourself being truly happy if you had to spend forever with the person they are today, that could be a problem.

A good rule to remember when it comes to "changing" your partner is that "you can't ask your partner to change who they are, but you can ask for behavior modification," says Chlipala.

3. You've Stuck By Each Other Through The Good And Bad Times

Ad failed to load

Even the best relationships go through their fair share of ups and downs. Whether it's conflict within the relationship or external pressures affecting the relationship, how you navigate difficulties as a couple is a pretty big testament to how you'll be able to cope with adversity in the future.

"People react to success, failure, and challenges differently," says Dr. Wish. "The person who was down on their luck might grab a gentle soul; but when success finally comes, the person no longer needs such comforting arms, and then seeks someone with cash, success, connections, etc."

If you suspect you're partner might only be in it for what you can do for them in the short term, without them making any effort to meet your needs as well, stay alert. You don't deserve that kind of behavior.

Ad failed to load

4. Your Fights Are Mature


"Would you like your doubts and worst moments with your partner posted on Facebook — or how about that lighted ticker tape at Times Square in New York City? Or, what if you had to tell your best friends about all your doubts and bad incidents?" asks Wish.

Ad failed to load

If the thought of having your dirty laundry going public doesn't make you want to completely implode, then that's a sign that, even in times of disagreement, you can both act reasonably and maturely, which spells success for the longevity of a relationship.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Ad failed to load

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

13 Must-Have Experiences You Should Buy In Your 20s, Instead Of A New Couch

Life is one big experience. When you hit your 20s, though, you start getting pulled in the direction of your responsibilities. It isn't totally a bad thing, but you don't want to get so wrapped into adulting that you forget life's zest. Amazing exper…
By Jasmine Vaughn-Hall

I Tried Kim Kardashian's Weird Beauty Obsession & I Can't Stop Taking Selfies

You've been there before: You're scrolling through your Instagram feed when you see your favorite celeb post about their favorite new product — a face serum, vitamins that will make your skin brighter, or a specialty food service. You can't help but …
By Stephanie Montes

Where You Should Vacation This Summer, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Summer is so much more than just sweating in 90 degree weather and enjoying a long, lazy break from school (if you're lucky enough to still be in school). It's a time for making exciting new plans, falling madly and hopelessly in love, opening your m…
By Roya Backlund

Wander or Bust: The Amalfi Coast May Just Be The Most Beautiful Thing You'll Ever See

Wander or Bust is an Elite Daily travel series that follows young women all over the globe to record their journeys as they experience the thrill of the far-flung and unknown. They'll track their budgets, where they stay, where they eat and drink, a…
By Kaylin Pound

6 Brutally Honest Phases Of Life After A Breakup, Because You Will Survive 

If you've ever been through a bad breakup, you know that the struggle is real. For the weeks (or possibly months, if it was a really bad one) that follow, life can be rough, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't believe me? Just l…
By Rachel Shatto

Here's How You Can Find Out What Your Aura Color Is

Do you remember that movie Almost Famous? More specifically, the scene where William is trying to have a phone call with his mom, but a clairvoyant Band-Aid keeps shouting "Your aura is purple!" in his face? Well, that was the first time I had ever h…
By Roya Backlund

9 Women In Their 20s Reflect On The Advice They Wish They Had At Graduation

Graduating college can feel seriously scary. You've spent your entire life in school, working and preparing for the moment you enter the real world, but what happens when you get there? What if things don't go totally according to plan? You may have …
By Brittney Morgan

3 Early Signs You Are Going To Have Undeniable Chemistry With Your Crush

I don't know if there's anything better than the excitement of having a new crush — especially when that feeling's reciprocated. The butterflies that rush through your stomach as soon as they enter a room. The electricity that zips through your veins…
By Genevieve Wheeler

A Dentist Reveals The Best Times To Brush Your Teeth & It's Actually So Surprising

Do you brush your teeth twice a day? If you do, you're already way ahead of me, since I usually forget about brushing my teeth before bed at least three out of seven days of the week. I'm so bad about remembering to brush my teeth before bed, that I'…
By Caroline Burke

Emoji Pool Floats Are Here To Match Every Mood You’re In This Summer

Searching for the perfect poolside accessory to lounge around in this summer? This year’s hottest warm weather water trend isn’t a big floppy hat or designer sunglasses — it’s an emoji pool float. That’s right: Your favorite little digital expression…
By Rachel Murphy

Here's How Your Mood & Your Favorite Music Are Secretly Connected, According To Science

If you're someone who's likely to be found with ear buds in her ears at all times, you might not realize just how often you listen to music, or the ways in which it's really affecting you. From your morning commute to the tunes you blast while you co…
By Caroline Burke

This Is How Long It Takes For A Partner To Really Trust You, According To Experts

Trust is easily one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship, but typically, it's not something that's fully there from the start because it takes some time to build. How long it takes for a partner to trust you is a question that doesn'…
By Tayi Sanusi

7 Things You Forgot To Thank Your High School Friends For & Should ASAP

Friends are a dime a dozen, but a solid, genuine group of girlfriends can be difficult to come by. When you find your tribe, you need to stick with them until the end. For some lucky people, your high school friends have been your besties since day o…
By Rachel Chapman

These 3 Zodiac Signs Will Have The Best Week, So Bask In The Glory

It's officially the second week of May, and the warmth of spring has finally arrived. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the bright weather is allowing everyone to finally break out their favorite pair of shorts. If you think the gorgeou…
By Roya Backlund

7 Men Reveal What Attracted Them To Their Last Crush & They'll Make You Swoon

He reminded me of Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl. That's legitimately what I found appealing about my most recent crush. Sorry, but it doesn't get any deeper than that. In other instances though, when I'm not trying to live out my lustful, adolescen…
By Sydnee Lyons

A Relationship Expert Reveals His Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide

"Long-distance relationships are extremely relaxing and easy to navigate," said no one in a long-distance relationship ever. Whether you are bicoastal babes or a quick two-hour train ride apart, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes…
By Kimmy Foskett

How To Start Reading Tarot When You Have No Clue Where To Begin

I've been practicing tarot almost daily as part of my self-care routine for years. My favorite part of the day is putting on a face mask, pouring myself a blushing mimosa or some coffee, busting out a few crystals, and sitting down to spend a little …
By Minerva Siegel

This Company Is Hiring A Chief Donut Officer & I Can’t Apply Fast Enough

National Donut Day may not be until June 1, but one company is celebrating the sweet holiday a little early this year. This isn't your average discounted donut or a buy-one-get-one deal, either. Entenmann's is giving one lucky person the chance to li…
By Collette Reitz

7 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer About Your Life By The Time You Hit 30

Nobody has all of the answers in life, but you're probably pretty proud of yourself for how far you've come. Somewhere along the way, some of us got the hang of adulting and began to appreciate the unexpected things that come with being 20-something.…
By Marisa Casciano

8 Pickup Lines To Use In The Library During Finals Week To Find Your New Study Buddy

In the borderline eternity I’ve been on this planet — I’m 29, suckers! — I’ve rarely made the first move, verbal or otherwise. I admire my female friends who have no trouble approaching a person they find cute. I even admire the men who have approach…
By Kimmy Foskett