How To Know You're In Love With Someone Who Doesn't Appreciate You

Ad failed to load

Appreciation is one of the most undervalued aspects of any healthy relationship. We usually put so much emphasis on how to know you're in love with someone who is loyal, honest, or a good communicator, that somehow, the importance of being appreciated by your partner — which is just as vital as those other qualities — gets lost in the shuffle. But let me tell you, as someone who has experienced both relationships where I was appreciated and ones where I wasn't, there is no comparison. You will never feel fully connected to someone unless you feel like they appreciate you.

How do you know if you're falling for someone who takes you for granted? Well, it usually starts with a feeling in your gut that something in the dynamic of the relationship is off, like there's an emotional inequality between you and your partner. Sometimes, that imbalance is really obvious; sometimes, however, it can be much more subtle. This is especially true if your partner puts on a good show of being verbally expressive about their feelings for you while simultaneously undermining that message with their behavior. If all this sounds confusing, well... that's because it is. But to help you better understand if your partner doesn't appreciate you enough, here are some subtle things to look out for.

1. Your Feelings Are Not Treated As A Priority

Ad failed to load

I don't know about you, but I have a terrible habit of sublimating my feelings and needs for others, especially when I think that expressing them will upset someone I care about. We all do this to some extent, but if this has become the norm in your relationship, Rachel Russo, a professional matchmaker and Dating & relationship coach, told Bustle it’s a sign that your partner is taking you for granted. "If you are in a relationship with someone who is unable to tolerate your emotions or have discussions about things that you think are important, you are with someone who doesn't care about making you comfortable within the relationship," she said. In other words, a partner who appreciates you will make sure it's safe for you and them to share what you’re both feeling, even if it means some temporary discomfort.

2. They Don't Take An Active Interest In Your Life

Ad failed to load

When was the last time your partner asked how your day was? If you can’t remember, that's not good. A loving partner who doesn't take you for granted takes an active interest in your life. They want to check in and see how you are doing, and they care about the things you care about. Something to keep an eye out for right from the beginning of a relationship, according to Russo, is if they "talk more about [their] life than yours on your dates and in your phone conversations." She continued, "You might just think [they're] nervous in the early stages of dating or just someone with a lot to share, but it could indicate a selfish personality." Consider yourself warned.

3. They Don't Value Your Opinion

Ad failed to load

When your partner has a big decision to make, are you one of the first people they turn to? When you offer advice, do they take it? If not, it’s a pretty clear sign they don’t appreciate you and your thoughts. In any true partnership, you lean on one another and work through the problems life sends your way together. If your partner doesn’t want to give you a space to voice your opinion or, if when you do, you don't feel validated, well... I think you know what I’m getting at here. That's not a good look for a relationship.

4. They Leave You Hanging

Ad failed to load

On average, how quickly does your partner reply when you text them? I’m not talking about when they are stuck at work one day, and you don't hear from them for eight hours; consider their usual texting style. If they're pretty good about getting back to people quickly, can you count on a quick reply for yourself, or do you give them a 50/50 shot at getting back to you at all? If it’s the latter, Russo said your partner may be disregarding "how their behavior affects you."

5. They Don't Show You Any Form Of Gratitude

Ad failed to load

This one is pretty straightforward. When you go out of your way to do something nice for them, do they say thank you, or do they just accept the gesture as something they are owed? And lastly, do they reciprocate what you do for them? If it’s always you putting in the work and doing things for them, then, girl, you're being taken for granted.

Remember, you are a beautiful, magical unicorn who deserves to be appreciated. Don't ever let anyone treat you differently, even if you love them.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Ad failed to load

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

3 Important Red Flags To Watch Out For When You're Dating Someone Older Than You

My first serious relationship was with someone almost ten years my senior. We got together during my first semester of college (after meeting through mutual friends) and I'd be lying if I said our breakup didn't have anything to do with our significa…
By Sydnee Lyons

These "Millennial Cruises" Will Make Your Next Friend Group Vacation So Lit

If you're a millennial right now, consider yourself lucky. If you're a millennial with the travel bug, consider yourself luckier. I know, you might be thinking, "But... money!" Trust me, I get it. Plane tickets and hotels can get expensive as you cou…
By Amanda Fama

5 Trends From The '90s Are Making A Serious Comeback, So Somebody Page Cher Horowitz

I was born in the '90s and my childhood was one Caboodles train case packed with scrunchies and butterfly clips after another. If you could believe it, early '90s fashion is already considered vintage (I officially feel old AF) and according to sprin…
By Stephanie Montes

5 Social Things You Can Do To Feel Less Lonely If You’re Single

Being single and being lonely don’t have to go hand-in-hand. Just because you don’t have a significant other, doesn’t mean you aren’t surrounded by wonderful people who love and care about you. But once in a while (especially if you’ve been single fo…
By Veronica Lopez

6 Subtle Red Flags That Could Mean You’re Sleeping Way Too Much

Have you ever woken up after an unusually long night of sleep and felt, well, kind of awful? Whether you roll out of bed feeling super dehydrated, nursing a throbbing a headache, or you simply feel stiff as a board, there are reasons why your body mi…
By Annakeara Stinson

These 6 Workouts Can Be Done Right On Your Couch, & Yes, They Do Count As Exercise

Ever have that feeling when you're watching the Olympics like you should be working out, or at least stretching, but in reality you're just laying around eating chips? Yeah, me neither. But if you do ever feel that pull to work out when you're just l…
By Annakeara Stinson

10 Things You Should Say To Your Partner Every Day To Keep The Love Alive

When it coms to love, falling into it is a lot easier than maintaining it. There’s a reason, after all, that it's called "falling" in love, because it's mostly out of your control — the heart just takes over. Because those emotions come so easily and…
By Rachel Shatto

Science Says These 8 Foods Can Help You Live Longer, So Eat Up

If you're looking to live forever, or at least for an appropriately long amount of time, then the best way to get started on your journey toward immortality is to think about what you're putting into your body for fuel. Think of your diet as the batt…
By Caroline Burke

I Live In London & When Guys Find Out I'm American, They Only See Me As A Fling

I first entered the world of dating apps during a semester abroad in London, and I had zero idea what I was getting myself into. I was 21, had only ever dated boys I'd met through work, school, or mutual friends, and my appreciation for romantic come…
By Genevieve Wheeler

Here's Exactly How You'll Fall In Love, Based On Your Astrological Sign

One of my favorite things about learning about my zodiac sign and others' is learning patterns about my behavior that I can acknowledge and use to my advantage. As a Scorpio sun sign, I know I'm typically described as mysterious, drawn to loyal peopl…
By Elana Rubin

These 8 Red Flags Might Mean You're Pushing Yourself Too Hard In Your Workouts

If you live by the motto "no pain, no gain," or you frequently exclaim that your HIIT circuits "hurt so good," you're probably the type of person who challenges yourself to the max during your workouts. And while this isn't necessarily a bad thing, i…
By Georgina Berbari

These "Awkward" Proposal Stories Show There's No One Perfect Way To Get Engaged

There are a few adjectives people use to describe proposal stories that tend to be a bit more common than the rest. You know what I mean. How many times have you heard someone describe their marriage proposal as "magical" or "romantic" or — my person…
By Candice Jalili

This $20 Toy Simulates Pimple Popping, So You Can Save Your Face (But Still Lose Your Dignity)

As a self-proclaimed popaholic, I am not ashamed to admit that I love watching pimple popping and blackhead extraction videos. Call me gross, but I find it immensely therapeutic and satisfying. To all of my fellow weirdos, we’ve been blessed with a n…
By Ariana Marsh

Meghan Markle Uses This $13 Natural Wonder To Grow Her Eyebrows Back & You Can Too

Meghan Markle is the world's new go-to celebrity for all things fashion and beauty — she's marrying a prince after all, so she must have some tricks up her sleeve. Meghan Markle's beauty routine is just as intricate as mine, because that's how real s…
By Alison Turka

7 Foolproof Things To Do Every Day If You're Tired Of Being Lazy AF

Being lazy can be oh-so-lovely. Until you start letting life pass you by, and not living to your full potential, then suddenly, it's not so good anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love my weekends when I can stay snuggled up in bed just a bit longer. Hit…
By Marisa Casciano

This Is How Long Most People Wait To Say "I Love You," Science Says

If I had to choose one word to describe saying "I love you" to your partner for the first time, I'd have to go with... hmm, exciting? Nope. Thrilling? Hardly. Terrifying? YES. Exactly. Saying "I love you" for the first time is terrifying. What makes …
By Candice Jalili

6 Reasons To Travel Abroad With Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend In Your 20s

Traveling can be many things: hectic, expensive, and definitely stressful. But with the right people or person beside you, all those troubles kind of just melt away. That's why there are some solid reasons to travel abroad with your boyfriend or girl…
By Alani Vargas