I think we can all agree that first dates can feel like the best/worst thing ever. Something about the mix of excitement and anxiety never ceases to produce some juicy fodder for a future game of 10 Fingers or Never Have I Ever. But when do most people actually know that they are going to kiss on the first date? Well, obviously it varies from person to person and date to date, but just about everyone agrees that there are usually some warning signs that the big moment could be coming soon.
There you are, sitting in the bar a few cocktails deep, and you're starting to wonder if they are actually into you. Then your stomach starts doing flips flops as you have a feeling the moment could be drawing near... or is it? Reading someone on a first date can be hit or miss, because until however long ago, they may have been a complete stranger. There are some common trends when it comes to sussing out if a lip-lock with the new hotties in your life is in the cards.
We talked to six first-date kissers to see how they knew — or didn't know — that they were about to be smooched.
1. Sometimes You Just Know
On my most recent first date, a kiss was on the agenda as soon as I knew he was cute. I was worried he wouldn't be because Tinder, but then when I saw him I was like, yup time for kissing. I knew we were going to kiss when we had one of those moments, where you look at each other kind of intensely, but it's OK because you're into it. And then I went for the kiss after he complimented me.
— Audrey, 24
2. Sometimes It Just Takes A Little Magic
I think I was with a guy my friends and I refer to as the "teenage dream." I was kind of in the process of low key friend-zoning him? IDK though, he did some black magic hex on that convo and we ended up making out. Basically in my mind, I thought he was kind of attractive but in a very non-sexual way and was trying to shut it down. And then he sort of "took charge" (I think he put my face in his hands or something?) and it was pretty hot and then my vagina was just, like, calling the shots and we kissed.
— Lori, 23
3. Sometimes It Sneaks Up On You
I can usually tell the minute I start talking to someone if I want to kiss them. However, my last "first date," I had no idea if she wanted to kiss me too. We were vibe-ing pretty well, having great conversations, walking around town at midnight, and I couldn't tell if she just really liked talking to me as a person or if she was also really into me. I knew I would want to kiss her if she gave me the vibe to do so, but the "vibe" was a little mixed, so I kept it casual.
When we did actually kiss, it took me a little bit by surprise. I went in for a hug after she walked me back to my place, and she went in for a kiss. It was a nice surprise, but a little awkward because we both had different intentions at that point in time. At one point on the date, she did compliment my hair and ask if she could touch it, and when I told her she could, we had a moment of physical intimacy that kind of cued me into knowing she was somewhat physically into me. That was the only moment that hinted a kiss might happen.
— Rebecca, 24
4. Sometimes It's The Little Things
It's all about the energy. Talking, laughing, small touches — at one point you just know it's going to happen. You can feel it in the air. Sometimes a kiss can come out of nowhere and surprise you. But usually, you can feel the buildup like a wave, slowly but surely.
— Magda, 30
5. Sometimes Your Energies Just Click
I haven't been on a date in a while, but I'm always down for a kiss on the first date. It's that moment when your legs touch, or your hands meet that you know.
— Thomas, 24
6. Sometimes You Gotta Thank Grandma
One first date, I went on was at this BBQ joint in NY. Me and him had already kissed before, but we were drunk and with friends, so this was, like, the official first date deal. After the dinner we were sitting on a bench outside the restaurant and talking about our family's — it's kind of funny and weird, but we totally kissed "for the first time" after we both shared stories about our grandmas LOL. I think I knew a kiss would be on the agenda because he started getting closer and closer and was listening to me talk, but not really. He was just thinking I want to kiss you I want to kiss you I want to kiss you! And then boom! He did. And it was awesome. I'm sure our grandmas were smiling down on us.
— Bailey, 24
As you can see, everyone's experiences are a little different, but with some underlying similarities. If you have a first on the horizon that's making you antsy, don't stress! The most important part of any first date is to have fun and be your self. If a kiss happens, then great. If not — there's always next time.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!