How To Hook Up With People While Living At Home, According To 9 Women
OK, so living at home has its pros and cons. When it comes to your sex life, there are likely more of the latter than the former, but it's totally possible to hook up with people while living at home — and have fun while doing so. I asked some women and non-binary folks about their at-home-hookup stories, and they had a lot of creative tips to share. According to them, the main ingredients for a successful hookup at home include: picking a spot that won't let sound echo, leaning into the sneakiness of it, and being aware of who is home.
Sometimes, having to sneak around to have sex can be really sexy, and make it feel new and exciting, regardless of how long you've been hooking up with that person. Sneaking around my parents' place to hook up with someone new always makes me feel like I am in high school again, and honestly, it's somewhat thrilling.
It's totally valid to be nervous about what the person you're bringing home is thinking about the whole situation. However, if they've agreed to go to your parents' place to hook up, they likely don't mind that there may be other people (*cough* your 'rents) around. If that's stressing you out, talk to them about how you're feeling — communication is key.
Here's what 9 people had to say about their own at-home hookup tricks.
When you want to make noise.
"I always did a lot in the car. I know that sounds very high school (and granted I did do this a lot in high school too) but you can't underestimate how great a sound proof vehicle that is far away from every one else can be. Yes, it's cramped but I could have a lot more fun there than I could in the bedroom that shares a wall with my parents... LOL."
— Lauren*, 26
When you pull the "just" friends card.
"It was pretty easy to hook up with other women at home when I identified as a woman, because I would just tell my mom I was having a friend over. She didn't have to know my 'friend' was coming for sex."
— Gabs, 25
When you need to make sure things are soundproof AF.
"I live at home and also still want to date, but it's admittedly tricky sometimes. My best move is to always encourage my date to take me to their place, but if they don't want to host me, then it's totally possible to have privacy at home. I just make sure we get back late, and I shut my bedroom door and put a towel along the bottom."
— Jess, 23
When you're willing to think outside of the box.
"The laundry room and basement are great because they have doors I can shut, and sound doesn't travel a ton."
— Alex, 24
When you use the situation to your advantage.
"OK, my partner and I's families prefer we stay in separate rooms when we go home for the holidays. He usually has to sleep on a mattress in the basement, so I sneak down there after I know people have gone to sleep. It's pretty hot, honestly. When we're at home, we have our own room, but there we have to sneak around. I like it when he has to cover my mouth with his hand. We also like to get creative with the furniture we can use in the basement, or even the stairs. If you're going to do that, though, you gotta make sure that no one is going to be wandering down there."
— Sarah*, 27
When you've got a solid silent agreement happening.
"I live at home, and I tell my mom that my date might come over. She doesn't ask a lot of questions. It's different than when I was in high school because I am an adult so... kind of just a 'don't ask, don't all' sort of agreement."
— Demi, 25
When you plan ahead.
"When I moved back home, I switched bedrooms so that I am in the furthest room from my parents. I said I just wanted to be in a different room from when I was young, but really i just don't want to be overheard — so far, so good."
— Alli, 22
When sneaking out was your main option but it was still stressful.
When I was in high school, I used to wait until my parents fell asleep to sneak my boyfriend in and out of the house. Sometimes, he'd come around 1:30 ai.m. and leave around 4:00 a.m.. It was always really high stakes. When I graduated and moved back home, my current partner and my parents were already pretty well acquainted. I didn't think having sex in the same house as them was that big of a deal, but it really bothered him! So, we either had to work around when the house would be empty, or be really, really quiet (which was stressful AF).
— Iman, 24
When you pool your resources.
"I've got my trusty go-to spots: my car, their car, basement, that lucky window when people aren't home, and, if all else fails, I just ask them to come up."
— Stevie*, 26
There's something thrilling about hooking up someone semi-secretively. In all seriousness, it can be hard to feel like a sexually independent adult when your roommates are your parents. This can be true for a ton of reasons, whether they're approving or not, and finding ways to have privacy with a hot date is clearly possible with some smart thinking. Phew!
*Names have been changed