How To Have A Quickie That Satisfies Both You & Your Partner, According To Experts
In any relationship, there will likely come a time when both partners want to have satisfying sex without putting in a whole ton of effort. It's safe to say the sexual chemistry between new couples is hot hot hot, and sexual escapades and new positions abound. But it's normal for that to decline the longer you've been together, and that's not a bad thing. Enter, the quickie: short, fast, satisfying sex that's fun and efficient. Having a quickie can be adventurous and exciting, no matter how long you've been together. So, knowing how to have a quickie that leaves both partners satisfied can be super helpful to have in your back pocket.
First of all, let's break down what a quickie is. "I think we all have different fantasies about what a quickie is like for us personally but, generally speaking, a quickie is a any sexual encounter that lasts only a few minutes," Jennifer B. Rhodes, licensed psychologist, dating expert and founder of Rapport Relationships, tells Elite Daily. "It is not the time for wining, dining and romance." Having a quickie "keeps things spontaneous and encourages exploration between partners," Rhodes adds.
However, because quickies are, of course, quick, it might seem like it's impossible for both partners to be completely satisfied. But, Rhodes advises that there is a way for everyone to have fun.
So, should you use missionary? Cowgirl? Doggy? Well, it depends. "I would recommend using your favorite positions or the ones that you know you can orgasm quickly from," Rhodes says. "It might also be location dependent — an area of your home, the car or some other location that doesn’t lend itself to a more extended sexual encounter." If you want to ensure that you and your partner both finish, Rhodes advises sticking to what you both know. If you're in a small space, modify one of your favorite positions, and you'll have a grand, old time.
Additionally, the whole idea of a quickie might actually be enough to get you and your partner adequately worked up. "What makes a quickie powerful and satisfying is the foreplay that will have happened leading up to it that creates that sense of 'I want you, right here, right now,'" sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr tells Elite Daily. Enjoy that feeling of passion, and use that to really gauge what position you two should use. Quickies can be exciting and new, so take advantage!
Of course, "Not all quickies are successful — and that's OK," Fehr says. "Sometimes what you think will work, won't. If things fail, let it go and laugh about it. Seeing what feels like a 'negative' experience in a positive light will make the next time easier and more fun. The sense of connection you have leaving the experience will feel more fulfilling in the long-term than the 'result' you got from it." Maybe your quickie isn't perfect, but it's still worth remembering.
Focus on each other, what you each like, what you each want, and go from there. There's no magical position or sex toy that will make your quickie especially wonderful, but tuning into each other's desires will definitely help, as the experts have pointed out. Now, go forth and quickie!