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How To Get A Kraft Cheese Sculpture Of Your Dad For Father's Day For The Best Gift Ever

Father's Day is just a few days away, but maybe you just can't bring yourself to gift your dad yet another tie or bottle of whiskey this year. If this is you, it's crunch time to start exploring out-of-the-box presents that'll score you major brownie points, like a custom statue of the man himself constructed entirely out of Kraft Cheddar Cheese. Here's how to get a Kraft cheese sculpture of your dad for Father's Day, because, let's be real: There's literally no better way to show him that you appreciate all the cheesy dad jokes and fatherly wisdom.

In a press release on June 11, the cheese gods at Kraft revealed that they've come up with the best last minute Father's Day gift option in the form of a giant cheese bust of dad, and I'm done. According to the release, every sculpture starts as a 40-pound block of Kraft Sharp Cheddar Cheese, and it takes three days to make it from start to finish. Apparently, it's "crafted with care," and "the look on your dad’s face when you gift it to him this Father’s Day will be remembered for a lifetime.”

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I was surprised to see the level of detail on these cheese effigies, which makes it easy to see how they take three days to carve out and how there's only five sculptures that are up for auction. Kraft says they're made by "professional food artists," after all. So if these dairy statues look like they'd be the perfect mix of unique and weird to put a big smile on your father's face, here's how to bid for one.

Interested buyers can head over to www.ebay.com/cheeseyourdad for a chance to get dad's features memorialized in cheddar. The item description builds a solid case, reading,

Odds are, at one point or another, your dad has exhibited cheesy behavior . . . But does your dad’s cheesiness disqualify him from being great? Of course not! In fact, Kraft believes your old man’s cheesy greatness should be celebrated. Which is why we’re offering to commemorate your dad with a big ol’ block of Kraft cheese sculpted into his likeness. Will it be perfect? No. Will it be great? Absolutely. (Kinda like him.)
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As for the details, bidders only have until June 12 at 5 p.m. CDT to place their offers. After that, the top five bidders will be contacted and asked to send in four photo angles of the man himself by June 13 at 9 a.m. to ensure the highest accuracy. Kraft asks for images that are front-facing, profile, back of head, and 3/4 angle, which might be hard to snap on the sly. However, dad's face when the finished product is delivered on Father's Day Eve will make the extra effort well worth it.

While I thought a cheese statue might be a little weird for most people, the bidding has skyrocketed since the auction went live on June 11. At the time of publication, the highest offer on a sculpture was at $2,025, which means you'll be paying a pretty chunk of cheddar for this chiseled 40-pound cheese hunk. Then again, this sculpture will also benefit a great cause, as Kraft revealed that all proceeds from this auction will be donated to Feeding America and their 200 member food banks. In addition, the cheese company has promised to match each donation dollar-for-dollar up to $25,000, so you can make this Father's Day very memorable while helping those who need it most. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

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There's only one caveat that might stop you in your cheese-loving tracks. Start making other plans if you dreaming about digging into the 40 pounds of Kraft goodness, and maybe even having the most epic fondue party of all time post Father's Day.

"Some men are chiseled from marble, but your dad will be sculpted from cheese – cheese that, like your dad, is not meant to be consumed," Kraft emphasizes. "PLEASE DO NOT EAT. Seriously, don’t eat it." Just don't.