So you're in a relationship. You found someone you enjoy hanging out with and probably like kissing their face. But you both are ridiculously busy between classes, long work days, or hanging out with friends. You try to figure out how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend, but you're unsure if you are seeing them too much or not enough. It's kind of awkward to ask your friends if they think you're seeing your partner enough or too much. You don't know the sufficient dates per week you should be doing with your partner and if there even is an ideal amount of times to go out per week.
If you're confused and unsure, Nina Rubin (no relation), relationship and life coach, provided me with some insight on how often you should be seeing your partner throughout the week. Read on to see what she has to say.
"I don’t think there is a quantity requirement for how many times a week you and your partner hang out," Rubin tells Elite Daily. "I think the issue is quality. If you and your partner decide to spend time together during the week, it is important to make sure you are connecting and doing things that please both of you. Sometimes schedules are such that it is difficult to make plans some weeks, and other weeks are less scheduled."
Essentially, seeing your partner every day won't strengthen your relationship if you both are exhausted and tapped out during the time together. Seeing each other should be about connecting, at least in some respect. Sure, winding down and doing a reading or even napping date after a long day sounds great, but that shouldn't necessarily be all that you do when you meet up with your partner during the week.
"Be flexible and agile," Rubin adds. "Be understanding of school, wake-up and bedtimes, and obligations that are outside of your relationship. When you can stay together and it doesn’t add stress, do. If sleepovers add stress because of time constraints and geographic locations, be open to waiting until tomorrow or the next day."
Remember that's what easiest for you is not always the easiest for your partner – even if you think sleeping over is a great way to get in extra time with your partner, they may worry about having to host you and getting out the door in the morning.
"So long as communication fits your expectations and you and your partner are on the same page about your relationship, don’t worry if there are some weeks that don’t measure up," Rubin says. "Look at the big picture rather than the micro. If your partner is avoiding you [when it comes to] plans and communication, bring it up."
How many times you see your partner is really up to the both of you. Focus on spending quality time together, in which you can enjoy their presence and be in the moment, rather than how many days total you can see them. Like Rubin said, it's quality over quantity.
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