How My Relationship With My Brother Changed In My 20s For The Better
My relationship with my little brother, Jon, is an interesting one. He's only a year younger than me, and we were practically raised as twins. We had matching outfits, the same haircut, participated in the same after-school activities — the works. (Don't ask for pics of our coordinating outfits and haircuts — I told my mom to bury them all.) Being so close our entire lives has given us a really unique bond. And as we've gotten older, our relationship has evolved. This is how my relationship with my brother changed in my 20s for the better.
Just because our relationship has gotten better, that's definitely not to say that we didn't have a great relationship before, or that we have it all figured out now. We're still growing as people, which means that our relationship is, too. But now more than ever, we feel comfortable sharing our personal lives with each other, and we know how to give each other space.
I'm thankful to have a little brother who is kind, supportive, understanding, and loyal. He is my biggest cheerleader — even if he doesn't act like it — and I know that he will be by my side through the most important moments of my life.
1. We Still Fight, But Only About Important Things
I remember fighting with Jon about every little thing growing up. In fact, we'd do just about anything to annoy the other person. Even as recently as last year, the two of us got into spats about trivial things. But recently, we've been better about only arguing about important things.
If he borrows something of mine without my permission, I try to let it slide, because there are far more important things for the two of us to worry about. I think it's impossible for any siblings as close as we are to be completely argument-free, but we're pretty darn close now.
2. We Don't See Or Talk To Each Other As Much As We Used To
We used to see each other all the time, and even lived with each other in NYC for two years. But now, my brother's on tour and I moved to Los Angeles, so we obviously don't see each other as much as we used to.
I actually think it's for the better, because we're able to reach out when we need something or just want to say hi, and it makes our catch-ups really special when we do see each other in person. We'll still forward each other funny posts or articles that we think the other person will enjoy, and I know he'll reach out if he needs my help with something.
3. We Give Each Other Space
Space is often an overlooked luxury when it comes to your relationship with your siblings. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, and now that Jon and I don't live together anymore, I'm able to appreciate all the great things about him, without the cloud of things that annoy me at times.
4. We're More Open About Our Relationships And Friendships
Growing up, Jon and I didn't feel like we could tell each other much about our personal lives. Maybe it was just because we were immature, or maybe because we valued the other person's opinion so much, we didn't want them to judge us.
But now that we're older, we are able to have a much more open dialogue about what's going on in our lives, specifically about our relationships and friendships. We now ask each other for advice, and feel comfortable just venting to each other if something is bothering us.