How Long Should You Wait Before Becoming Official? 6 Women Share How Long They Waited
It would be pretty awesome if you could just meet someone, decide you like them on the spot, and then, boom!, immediately start dating. But that's, unfortunately, not always the way it works. So, how long should you wait until becoming official? Well, it can depend on the actual relationship. Some couples really define the relationship after one or two dates, but for others, it can understandably take a lot of time, and needless to say, a lot of patience.
I mean, we've all been with those people who like us but just "aren't ready" for relationships. And when that happens, you often have two choices: Move on and find someone who is ready, or stick around and hope that with time the person you currently like will come around. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, six brave ladies who chose the latter shared their experiences and explained how long they waited to become official with their current partners. Some of them waited a really long time, you guys. And, honestly, all of them are far more patient than I am. But, if you're currently in a situation where you're not quite sure where your relationship could possibly be going, read these as signs of hope! There could be a light at the end of the tunnel, after all.
She waited six months and it was worth it.
Six months. It was rough at times. A lot of times. But at one point my best friend told me that I wouldn’t be putting myself through it unless I thought he was worth it.
We’ve been together six years now, just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary and have three kids.
She gave him time to move on from his last relationship.
My SO and I both had just gotten out of long term relationships, but his was more recent than mine. It was probably about a month after we started seeing each other that we started officially dating. We were spending pretty much every day together and worked together. It took a few months before we were really there for each other emotionally. I actually moved in with him after 2 months and I think that really sped things up. But I think for the first part of the relationship we just needed time to heal from our previous ones, and did it together. We've been together for four years now and all is good :)
She tried to move on, but he found his way back to her.
I didn’t wait. I started trying to move on immediately, then he came around.
Long version: I tried to jump his bones, told him I’d be down for a relationship or just a hookup, no real preference, and was rejected. Said we should just stay friends.
He continued to give me mixed signals, like calling me when he was drunk to tell me we were just good friends and then later texting me HIMYM quotes about me “breaking all the rules”. So I decided to have some self-respect and not let myself get jerked around and started spending less time with him (as friends) and setting up dates with other people.
A month later, we were hanging out and he told me he was tired of pretending he didn’t like me, and we got together.
After our first date a couple weeks later, he told me that the time between was for him to really consider how he felt about himself—that he was so messed in the head that he wouldn’t be good for me. So when he realized he’d rather be with me than me find someone else, he actually started working on himself to be better for me.
They're married now, but the road to the altar wasn't easy.
Okay so here's my story with my husband, it ended well for us but it was a long and hard journey.
He was 20 I was 21 when we first started dating and he had just gotten out of a very toxic yet serious relationship 2 months earlier like they both thought that they were going to get married still up until he started liking/dating me.
So when we first started dating he was still very confused about his feelings for her and he still had those toxic relationship habits with me. Because he was starting to feel strongly for me but wasn't ready to, he broke up with me a month after starting to date me. I was devastated for about two weeks and then because our connection was absolutely undeniable, we got back together.
We dated for another 4 months I would say with him trying to not let his past relationship effect our relationship but it didn't work. She had torn him down to the point where he hated himself and when he hated himself, he couldn't feel love for me. That got wearing over time and finally I realized that he couldn't emotionally work through all of the negative feelings of that breakup and be in a successful relationship. So I broke up with him. It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done.
Over the next few months we were both in the darkest points of our lives, yet still coming back to each other. We both knew that what was in between us was an amazing chemistry, it was just clouded by his other break up (and I'll admit that I needed to work through a few things too).
Eventually we did get back together and we just got married in November, but we needed time apart to be the right person for each other. It was a "right person, wrong time" situation and we were kids (it's 4 years later, so I guess some people still consider us kids). It can work out but it won't be easy by any means, what should be easy though is loving that person.
They had plenty of obstacles to overcome before becoming official.
I waited 6ish months; he had another girlfriend and his best friend liked me. It was quite the complicated tale... eventually we figured things out and have the best relationship now. :)
It took them half a decade to finally meet IRL.
My boyfriend and I met over MySpace (Lol) like 10ish years ago when we were about 15. We lived about 40 miles apart and even tho he wanted to meet I wasn’t comfortable with it. I eventually stopped talking to him and years later we reconnected on Facebook. From there we’d message each other a lot, but we still didn’t meet. We’d text all the time. I think we finally met when we were 20-21. After meeting nothing came of it still. We just continued being friends and talking all the time. 3 years ago we hung out for the second time and things just started changing. We hung out a couple more times and finally admitted we liked each other. Now we’ve been living together for two years.
If you don't want to wait for someone to come around, you definitely never have to. Just remember: Sometimes ,taking it slow winds up paying off in the end.