Every human being has needs. Whether they're physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental, they're totally valid and deserve to be met. But what if you're in a relationship where your needs aren't being met? Even the seemingly small things that you feel you need are worth discussing with your partner. If you need them to pay more attention to you at home, or help clean more, or even just communicate with you more, you deserve all those things and shouldn't be afraid to ask for them. If you're wondering what to do if you wish your partner would text you more, worry not — it's a totally valid request, and I spoke to experts for their advice on how to let bae know you want to hear from them more often.
Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. So if your partner isn't texting you as often as you like, it's completely OK for you to feel a little neglected, but that also means you might need to talk to them about it.
First of all, think about why you need your partner to text you more, because there's no such thing as a "normal" amount of texting in a relationship. 'Normal' is subjective," Shula Melamed, relationship and wellness coach, tells Elite Daily. "Some couples need to text more because of coordination of plans, care-taking and other logistics. Some couples text more frequently because they aren't able to see each other on a daily basis so it helps build or create intimacy." Evaluate why you want your partner to text you more, so that you can move forward.
If you already know the why, continue to ask yourself why it's important. "Is it because you need to know where they are because of logistical issues?" Melamed asks. "Is it coming from a place of insecurity or fear of loss of control? Make sure the need is a healthy one that has the intention to strengthen the relationship rather than from suspicion or control. Have a good understanding of what your partner's scheduling demands are and try to take that into consideration as well." Know your demands, but also make sure they aren't coming from a negative place.
Once you know your intentions, approach the topic with your boo. Melamed recommends coming from a place of honesty. "Let them know it's something that you need to feel a certain way as opposed to framing it as something that they are not doing enough of," she suggests. "Don't start the conversation by telling [them] they are 'bad' at something. Don't ask them over text!" Try and come from a place of respect and care for your partner and your relationship, so they don't feel attacked or ambushed.
While you're talking to your partner about your texting style, Melamed also suggests working together to think of some possible solutions that you're both comfortable with. "Come up with a way or a rhythm that works for both of you," she advises. "Come up with something cute like a 3 p.m. check in or a 'on my way home' emoji message. Be respectful of their time and needs to text and see if you can come up with a healthy compromise."
In a relationship, compromise is everything. But that doesn't mean you should ever feel like your needs aren't being met. Speak up, talk it out, and find a happy medium for both of you. You deserve it!