Here’s How To Know You're Ready To Delete Your Ex's Number, According To An Expert
After a breakup, it's easy to feel like you'll never move on. Whether you and your ex ended things mutually and amicably, or you were the one to call it off, moving forward after a relationship comes to and end can be just plain hard. But then, slowly but surely, you'll start to notice that you think about them less and less. You don't get sad when you hear their name or ask your friends to Insta stalk them for you. Maybe you even think that you’re ready to delete your ex’s number, and take that big step toward getting the closure you deserve. Feeling ready to delete your ex's number can happen sooner than you might think, so it's important to be self-aware and know when you're ready.
"It helps to move forward with your life," Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Elite Daily of the perks of deleting an ex's phone number. "Sometimes seeing the number in your contacts can get you upset so getting a clean break can help you mentally," Safran tells Elite Daily.
There are obvious drawbacks to deleting an ex's number from your phone, and it might not always be feasible. "Sometimes you might need to keep it because you share an animal, friends, or something else," Safran explains. However, if you can't delete their number, she has some other suggestions. "You may need to have it but you can rename it something other than Joe Doe. 'Yucky Ex' or 'Big Jerk' can be good new contact names," she advises. Now that, I can get behind. Bye "Big Jerk"! Thank u, next.
Here's how you'll know you're ready to delete your ex's number. (Or at least change their name to "Yucky Ex.")
1. You have no actual need to talk to them.
Like Safran said, there are cases where it's impossible to completely cut off an ex due to extenuating circumstances. But if you legitimately have no desire or logistical need to talk to an ex, or you "don’t need to contact them for anything regarding your or their stuff," as Safran says, you might be ready to delete their number.
2. You've already ended communication with them.
Additionally, Safran says that if you "don’t text with them anymore and have stopped contact," you can probably delete your ex's number. If you aren't talking on a daily basis, and have no need for them to be taking up space in your phone, then just hit "Delete," y'all.
3. You recognize that having their number is unhealthy.
A fairly obvious indicator that you're ready to delete your ex's number is that you're ready to move on, in every sense. "You realize you want to move on and date and seeing this contact holds you back," Safran explains. After all, it can feel impossible to move on when your ex's name and number is burning a hole in your pocket. Delete it, and you'll be able to move one step closer to closure.
4. You need a little help with self control.
"Depending on who broke up with whom can change how you feel about keeping any reminders or temptations around," Safran explains. Really, it's hard not to fall into the trap of sending that "u up?" text to your ex, so if you struggle with that, Safran says it might be smart to lose their info. "The bigger issue is not about having access to the contact, it’s about having the self control not to contact them when you felt lonely," she explains.
Deleting your ex's number can feel like a big, important step in a breakup. You might not exactly be ready for that, and that's OK! "If you keep the number just make sure you at least delete the social media and texts," Safran says. "Those can be more upsetting than seeing a number in your contacts." Letting go of an ex can be scary, but if it will help you move on and heal, it might just be the best thing you can do for yourself. And at the end of the day, your self-care and wellbeing the most important thing you should focus on.