Let’s be real — meeting someone’s family is a big deal and all, but meeting their friends can be equally momentous. After all, you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. And if you make a good impression on the squad, you may find that you’re included in more opportunities to hang with your crush, too. But first, you need to figure out how to get someone you like to introduce you to their friends.
According to Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching, it’s totally normal to want to meet your crush’s friends — in fact, it marks an important milestone.
“It lets you know that they like you enough or are serious enough about you to introduce you to their friends,” she tells Elite Daily. “An introduction also gives you more insight into who they are and who they interact with. It’s so interesting to see all the different characteristics that are brought out by each of their friends. And perhaps the most beneficial part of meeting their friends is getting the chance to decide if you liked his circle and who they are when they’re among their friends.”
Martinez points out that some people may be comfortable introducing you to their friends right away — and in fact, some may even use that tactic as a way of weeding prospects out who can’t fit in with their squad. But many people are more selective about who they introduce to their friends, which means they may need to get to know you better before they make that move.
Fortunately, there are several subtle ways to inspire your crush to bring you around their friends. For example, Martinez suggests introducing the person you like to your friends.
“If they aren’t taking the first step, then you need to take the initiative to get the ball rolling,” she explains. “If you already have and didn’t get the same in return, have a conversation about it. It’s easier to bring it up if you have already done the introductions on your side.”
Another way to ease them into the idea is to talk about your own friends.
“Bring up funny stories and share more about their personalities to open up the opportunity to get them talking about theirs,” says Martinez. “This will give you a way to gently drop the hint that their friends sound like a lot of fun and that some of your friends will probably get along really well.”
Once you’ve laid the groundwork, Martinez recommends suggesting a game night or group outing.
And if those subtler cues don’t work, you can always try a more direct approach. Simply tell the person you like that you’d love to meet these friends you’ve heard so much about, and ask if they can make that happen. It may feel nerve-wracking to ask them outright, but at least you’ll get a clear answer on whether they have any hesitations about making the introduction. If they do, the most important thing to remember is that it probably has nothing to do with you. There are many different reasons why someone might be apprehensive about introducing you to their squad — they may be afraid you won't like their friends, or worse, may reject them once you meet the degenerates they chill with. Alternatively, they may feel as if they need to define the relationship in order to feel comfortable taking that next step.
“Make sure your relationship feels solid enough to progress,” says Martinez. “If they’re dragging their feet on making introductions, there’s probably something on their mind holding them back. They may need the reassurance that this relationship will be moving forward.”
Having an open, honest conversation about their concerns will help you to avoid taking it personally that they haven’t introduced you to their friends yet. And if your relationship is meant to last, meeting their friends will be an inevitable stepping stone along your dating journey. Besides, if they're super selective about who they bring around their buds, then once they do introduce you, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing they must really, really like you.