Sometimes in life, you reach a point where you realize your current situation isn’t working. Think of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s exit from the British monarchy, or Taylor Swift’s break from her old record label, Big Machine. Being on dating apps with no success can feel like an impossibly frustrating predicament. It gets discouraging when you’ve spent months swiping without meeting the right person, and all your friends seem to be having better luck than you. Experiencing dating burnout is all too common, but it doesn’t mean you’re bound to the single life forever.
Online dating takes time and emotional effort, and when it’s not paying off, it’s easy to want to throw up your hands and quit entirely. But in many cases, a fresh start is just what you need for a new perspective. “If you are on the same apps and not making any meaningful connections, then you should ‘change your grip,’” matchmaker Brooke Wise tells Elite Daily. “Try something different, as what you are doing is not working. Perhaps look for a different app with a different approach.”
To shake things up, start fresh with a new dating app you haven’t tried before. This will introduce you to a whole new pool of potential connections. If you’re accustomed to swipe-based apps like Tinder and Bumble, try Coffee Meets Bagel or The League, which slow things down by limiting the number of profiles you see each day. If you’re looking for more meaningful conversation, try out Hinge or OKCupid, which prompt users with creative questions about their interests. If you have a specific faith background, download a dating app that caters to your beliefs. Wise suggests trying targeted apps to help you meet people who share your values, which lays the foundation for a successful long-term relationship.
Wise also notes that a new profile can help you attract a different crowd of people. “Pictures are very important on these apps,” she says. Update your photos, and put some thought into the information you choose to share about yourself. “Perhaps jazz up your bio a bit so that it draws someone in and piques their curiosity,” Wise suggests. “Everyone enjoys traveling — what is unique and interesting about you and sets you apart from all of the other men and women on this app?” What is your dream travel destination, or the ideal way you love to spend a Friday night? What about your go-to coffee order? The more specific and unique you can be, the more likely you’ll draw people in who are intrigued by what you have to offer.
These details are called “warranting,” and they establish you as a real human rather than a profile behind a screen. “Part of the profile is developing trust — at least enough to meet in person,” linguist and researcher Michelle McSweeney previously told Elite Daily. “These small details help establish trust by showing that you are a real person who does things in the real, physical world.” If you give someone an easy way to relate to you, you’re setting up an obvious conversation-starting topic. This may lead to fewer matches overall, but the ones you do get will be more likely to turn into a relationship.
“Be interesting and dynamic in your profile,” Wise tells Elite Daily. “Otherwise, he/she will swipe right past you!” Use humor if that’s your thing. You have one chance to draw people in, so don’t skimp on building out a profile that captures your authentic personality.
If this new app dating strategy still isn’t working, you might want to change your approach even more. “Perhaps matchmaking, which is a personalized offline approach, would work better for you,” Wise says. “I think you need to explore other avenues that you haven’t tried. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!” Join a club or interest group in your area, or ask your friends to introduce you to people they think you might jive with. You will eventually meet someone special, but it might take a few tries to figure out an approach you enjoy and can sustain.
Dating takes work, but it doesn’t have to feel like a slog. Remember that you’re a phenomenal catch, and you might just need a fresh game plan to find more people you connect with. In time, you'll come across someone who can't believe they were lucky enough to meet you.