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Do McDonald's Fries Cure Baldness? Science Suggests Bathing In A Tub Of Fries

Male pattern baldness is an unfortunate part of life that many men (and women) are eager to fix. A recent study may have found a delicious new elixir to help you or your boyfriend's hair grow back, sans Rogaine. Japanese scientists asked, do McDonald's fries cure baldness? The answer will likely gross you out and simultaneously have you craving the salty side dish.

Imagine finding out that one of your favorite low-brow foods (which you've been told your whole life is extraordinarily unhealthy) may actually boast cosmetic benefits. Scientists at Yokohama National University in Japan have found that a chemical added to McDonald's french fry oil can help regrow hair. The chemical, dimethylpolysiloxane, is a type of silicone added to the oil McDonald's uses to fry their heavenly potato sticks. The substance is intended to prevent the oil from frothing, making it easier for cooks to masterly prepare your guilty pleasure. But now I'm being told it can also help give your man that Uncle Jesse hair he's been wanting.

Don't worry, you haven't hallucinated this article. Real life scientists are telling the world that McDonald's french fries may hold the key to preventing hair loss, so BRB I'm going to go fill my bathtub with fries.

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The experts at Yokohama University must have been having a junk food craving when they came up with this study. To be honest, I don't care how they thought of it, I'm just glad that they did.

The researchers applied the the silicone chemical found in the fry oil to laboratory mice, and discovered that it caused the mice to grow more hair. I never thought I'd be talking about french fries, mice, and hair in the same sentence in a positive way, but here we are.

The chemical itself doesn't create or stimulate hair, but acts a sort of foundation that boosts hair growth. Professor Junji Fukuda worked on the project and has said that the french fry oil chemical was "key" and that "it worked very well" to grow new hair.

"This simple method is very robust and promising. We hope that this technique will improve human hair regenerative therapy to treat hair loss such as androgenic alopecia."
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Imagine the internet's response to hearing that their favorite deep-fried starch may have "health" benefits.

Twitter was hungry for the news and I'm eating up all the jokes.

"Eating McDonalds fries cures baldness. You will now envy my luxurious, ample hair as I snuggle into the two airline seats I was forced to purchase for myself," tweeted food critic and Guy's Grocery Games judge Troy Johnson.

One user wrote, "okay I knew I stanned mcdonalds for a reason. I love science!!!" I hated science in school but things can change!

"So I just read that a chemical that McDonalds uses to make their fries can possibly cure baldness. So if you're bald just go to McDonalds, order a large fries and rub them on your head until hair grows. I assume that will work," wrote another user. It sounds like a reasonable approach to me.

"Just gonna start rubbing McDonalds fries on my head. Even if it doesn't work, at least I'll smell good," one fan of the news joked.

Celebrate!

"Thank you McDonalds!! You have given me hope again by not only creating the perfect sandwich in the McRib but now you might give me the ability to grow my hair back?? 2018 I tell ya!!" 2018 is looking up.

I actually have a tiny bald spot on my head from the chicken pox, so same.

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That's actual footage of the bubble bath I'm about to take.

To avoid any serious injuries (and lawsuits), I don't seriously recommend that anyone bathe in a vat of oil, especially hot oil. Perhaps wait for the seemingly inevitable pill or ointment to prevent sparse strands. In the meantime, enjoy your fries responsibly.