Confession time: I never used to get thirsty during cuffing season.
Despite the fact that I could barely sleep in a bed by myself until I was 13 (true story: I would crawl into my sister's bed on a nightly basis), I hated the idea of snuggling up next to sweaty, heavy humans all winter. From November to February, I didn’t have to bother with shaving my legs every day or worry about drinking green juice. Would I like to go out dancing? No thank you, good sir. I’d rather spend the evening wrapped up in about 17 fuzzy blankets with a mug full of hot chocolate and cinnamon whiskey, watching every Christmas episode of Gilmore Girls and Friends Netflix has to offer.
But this year… something changed.
Maybe it’s because I moved to London, and every turtleneck sweater and string of twinkling lights I see makes me think I’m in a scene of Love Actually. Maybe it’s the fact that the radiator in my apartment is completely unreliable, and I keep waking up shivering. Maybe it's because I've seen no less than 50,000 adorable couples tucked away in corner booths at pubs, whispering and giggling over cups of mulled wine and flickering candlelight.
But like, I get it now. And I could really use a sweaty, heavy human snuggled up next to me this winter. (Apparently, humans have even evolved to seek out psychological warmth when the temperature drops — there’s a whole science behind cuffing season!)
So, I'm officially on the hunt for a cuffing season companion. For all of these reasons and more.
I Need a Drinking Buddy
Cuffing season also happens to correspond with "hot boozy beverage" season, the most wonderful time of the year! And while I've become a pro at making mulled wine alone in my kitchen, I feel like bottles of wine are best shared with others, you know? Preferably others with strong arms and well-defined abs.
...And An Ice Skating Partner
Fun fact: I was actually a figure skater in my early teen years, and every time the Winter Olympics rolled around, I would watch the pair skating with heart eyes and think, "One day, that will be me!"
It's safe to say that will definitely never be me, but no less. Have you seen how many gorgeous ice rinks there are in London? Because there are so many. And I owe it to little Genevieve to skate around with my cuffing season partner, don't you think?
I Just Want to Wear Sparkly Dresses
Another reason to hunt for a cuffing season mate? Holiday parties, and the fancy dress codes, dance floors, and free booze that come with them. I am fully prepared to trade my 17 fuzzy blankets for a swishy cocktail dress and a little waltzing this year.
Cuddles, Cuddles, Cuddles
In years past, my ideal sleeping conditions involved being surrounded by no less than four pillows and covered with a nice down comforter. But a few months back, I broke my "no-cuddling" streak and snuggled up to a guy (on a travel date, in fact). And like wow, it was so warm and comforting! Ideally, my cuffing season companion will be as into Gilmore Girls and Friends as I am, but I guess that's negotiable.
OK, so obviously I am a cuffing season newbie… but I’m assuming that you also exchange Christmas gifts, right? Great. Because the only thing I love more than shopping for men’s sweaters is being showered with presents and affection. So.
The All-Important New Year’s Eve Kiss
This is one aspect of cuffing season that I have always understood.
A few years back, my ex and I got into a pretty big fight before the holidays, and I remember telling myself, “You already have New Year’s plans. Just swallow your anger until then.”
I mean, I’m usually the girl calling my parents at midnight while everyone else locks lips, but I don’t think they’d mind if I called a few minutes late in 2018.
Gentlemen, please form an orderly queue...
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