From this point on, your life will be divided into two parts: The Time Before You Heard Cody Simpson's Quote About His Penis and The Time After You Heard Cody Simpson's Quote About His Penis. The moment in question took place during a Jan. 21 episode of The Kyle & Jackie O Show aptly titled, Cody Simpson & Other Well Endowed Celebs. Are you ready for this?
"Hey, I've got to ask one more thing," Kyle said toward the end of the already extremely NSFW interview. "A lot of the gay guys that work here on the show — and me — were discussing celebrities we think are are really well hung, and you came out on top as probably the guy that would be hung like a donkey."
And here's the best part: Cody didn't respond by flat-out denying the claim. "Mate, that's been the talk," Cody initially joked in response, although he clarified he was "kidding" only seconds after. I know this is going to be impossible to imagine, but things only got more awkward from there when Kyle decided to call Cody out for forgetting to take a picture in his "undies" (I promise I'm just as lost as you are).
I think every detail of this undies convo is important, so I have it all laid out for you below. You're welcome.
KYLE: "You were supposed to take a photo in my undies which you never did."
CODY: "I didn't want to upset you."
KYLE: "Why? Was my face all distorted by that giant schlong?"
CODY: "Yeah, exactly. I didn't want to intimidate you. I didn't want to make you feel bad about yourself."
JACKIE: "So, the rumors are true then?"
CODY: "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."
OK, to be fair, Cody made it clear throughout the entire interview that he was "kidding" about having a giant donkey-sized schlong. But he never said he didn't have one either, right?
Speaking of Cody's wiener, did I mention he also noted that he also practices safe sex? When asked if he uses protection, he responded: "I'm cautious. I'm a careful guy." He also confirmed that his relationship with Miley Cyrus is going "great." He told the hosts, "We're amazing. no complaints."
That was a lot to take in so I'm going to give you some time to digest. Bye!