Before Sending Someone A Nude Picture Of Yourself, Here's What Sexperts Want You To Know
When you and your girls finally got into that rooftop bar, who was there to take that group pic? Your phone, on self-timer. And after, when said friends claimed they were "tired of being your personal photographer," who took a full body pic of you to capture your #OOTD? You did, with your phone on self-timer. Self-timer has been a photoshoot #game #changer. So, when it comes to the sexy stuff, it's no wonder that self-timer is there to help you send someone a nude picture. Spoiler alert: There's no one way to take and send nudes.
"The act of taking nudes can be a new way to explore parts of your own sexuality — there’s something thrilling about being able to capture your own definition of 'sexy' on camera," Amy Boyajian, CEO of Wild Flower, tells Elite Daily. "Sending nudes to a partner can be extremely helpful in staying sexually connected, as well as adding variety and excitement to your routine."
Unlike dropping a (clothed) selfie in your boo's inbox, sending a nudie demands some serious thought and care. If you're thinking of baring it all for the camera, here are a few things to consider before sending a naked pic.
You Need To Talk About Consent & Boundaries *Before* Sending
Like any type of sexy behavior, sending nudes demands active consent. Before dropping a graphic body shot in your boo's inbox (or asking them to do the same), it's important to first talk about consent and boundaries.
"Being honest and having open communication are two very important things to keep in mind when sending nudes," Boyajian says. "Remember, consent can be taken away at any time, even after you’ve sent the picture."
If you used to be super into nudes and aren't any more or you're normally down, but you just hit up Chipotle (and will not be feeling sexy anytime soon), consent is not a one-and-done situation. Consent is demanded every time you turn up the heat in your inbox and your boundaries can change at any point — even after you've hit send.
Your Pictures Can Be Saved On Any Platform
Not to sound like the middle school teacher who warned you not to put "unprofessional" things on the internet, but for real: Your nudes can be saved and shared after you send them. Even if you totally trust the lucky recipient, it's important to consider that your nudes can be saved and shared before sending them.
"It’s important to make sure that you trust the person beforehand and have had a clear discussion about your comfort levels and consent," Boyajian says. "It is possible for someone to save these pictures on any platform; be aware of this and let them know if you’re comfortable with that or not."
Maybe you send a cheeky shot of your booty without your head in the frame or perhaps you make sure there aren't any identifiable or distinguishing features in the frame (never not thinking about that episode of Hannah Montana where Hannah was photographed in her "Miley" necklace). Knowing that your pics can be saved may help you visualize what you feel most comfortable sending.
Nudes Are About Feelin' Yourself
Of course, a big part of sending sexy naked pictures is taking sexy naked pictures. If you're having your own nudie photoshoot, Boyajian suggests finding a shot that makes you feel strong and sexy.
"The right camera angle can make a big difference in making you feel comfortable," Boyajian says. "Find an angle that focuses on areas of your body that feel sexy for you to share. If you love your legs, get them in the frame."
According to Boyajian, using your self-timer feature can be a sexy hands-free way to get in the mood. A self-timer pic also allows you to feel yourself and move around freely without worrying about capturing the shot.
It's also important to note that you can take sexy shots of yourself just to have them. You don't need to take nudies with the intention of sending them to someone else. A photoshoot in the buff may help you see your body in a new way, and can be a totally sexy solo activity.
Asking For Nudes Should Be A Conversation, Not A Demand
If you're super into sending pics or you think getting a nudie from a partner would be totally hot, it's OK to want to ask for nudes. According to Boyajian, "asking" for nudes should be framed as part of a larger conservation about what you and your boo are into and what everyone's comfort levels are.
"Instead of demanding pics (not cool), tell them how much you love XYZ part of their body and ask if they’d be comfortable sharing," Boyajian says. "You can even emphasize that there’s no pressure to do this, but that you think it’s a fun and exciting activity for the both of you. And if they say no, respect that boundary."
According to Lola Jean, sex educator and mental health professional, it may help to explain why you're into getting naked pictures. "Many people tend to be more visual creatures, so part of their built-in arousal and attraction is related to imagery," Jean tells Elite Daily. Jean shares that asking when your partner might feel comfortable sending nudes (all the time, after DTR, after a year) can open up the conversation as well. "Try not to take any of this personally, it likely has everything to do with them and little to do with you," Jean says.
It's Always OK To Say You're Not Into It
If you're not into sending nudes, it's always OK to give it a big N-O. "No means no, so simply declining should always be OK when you’re not into a sexual activity — digital or IRL," Boyajian says. "'I don’t [feel like/feel comfortable/want to] send nudes, but I can’t wait to be naked with you in real life soon!' is a great line for someone you’re into. But to a creep on the internet, no need to be that polite!"
If you love getting frisky with your boo IRL, telling them that may help you shut down the sending nudes convo. After expressing that you're not interested in sending naked snaps, Jean shares that you may want to discuss sexy activities you both enjoy. "You can say: 'That’s just not something that turns me on/something I’m into /something I do, but I’d love to find a medium that works for both of us,'" Jeans says. "If you have a preferred way, suggest this and see how they feel."
Whether you're not into sending nudes but you've always wanted to experiment with having sex on film, or you'd be more comfortable getting sexy together over FaceTime, figuring out what works for you and your parter(s) can be a sexy way to get on the same page.
From checking in about consent and boundaries to finding an angle that makes you feel sexy, there is a lot to consider before sending someone a nudie. Of course, your body is your domain and if getting naked in someone's inbox feels right to you, there's no wrong way to (consensually) capture your sexy.