The other day, I did my taxes and found out that I owe the IRS money for the first time. It's a bummer, but it happens. After crying a little bit on my accountant's desk and indulging in the requisite panic, I thought: "WHAT IF I SUBLET MY APARTMENT FOR A MONTH?" While I was being somewhat dramatic, I do live in New York, so even halving my monthly rent would be super kind to my bank account. Cue my next idea: "WHAT IF I MOVE IN WITH A BOYFRIEND?" In New York, being "ready to move in together" is synonymous with "wow, rent is jaw-droppingly expensive."
I quickly realized that forcing someone to become my boyfriend and move in together immediately is not exactly a scheme that a woman of sound mind would orchestrate. I reassured myself that dipping into my savings was OK and taxes are weird when you are a freelancer and whatever. Still, the point remains: if you and your partner are considering moving in together to save money, I empathize.
But moving in together is a huge step forward in your relationship, and it's not the right choice for every couple. Unless you're in dire financial straits, you probably want to wait until you and your partner feel ready and excited for that milestone. You shouldn't shack up just to save a few bucks, nor should you rush into living together because your family is pressuring you into a certain timeline, or all your friends (and, uh, current roommates — uh-oh) are moving in with their partners.
There must be a way to know when it's actually time to move in together. I spoke to clinical psychologist and host of The Web Radio Show Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. about how you can tell that you're ready to move in with your partner. (Spoiler alert: he says taxes aren't a valid reason. I knew I was onto something.)