Women Reveal Their Real AF "Are We Dating Or Nah?" Stories & You'll Feel Less Alone

by Candice Jalili

You would think something like whether or not you're dating someone would be pretty easy to figure out, but alas, it's 2017, and NOTHING is obvious and easy anymore — not even realizing if the situation-ship you're in is a relationship. For months before my boyfriend officially asked me to be his girlfriend, I racked my brain trying to figure out what in the world we were doing. Were we just hooking up? Well, no, because we went on "dates." But in that case, were we dating, or were we just friends who hung out together and happened to boink from time to time? CONFUSING.

Well, luckily, I'm not the only one who's been in that awkward position. A recent Reddit thread asked ladies, "What is your 'Wait, are we dating?' story?" and, oh, man, did they have some hilariously confusing predicaments. Read along and prepare to say "same."

They weren't dating, but when she made out with someone else, it was "cheating" because that makes total sense...

There was this guy with whom I 100% acted like we were dating, but he kept making sure I knew for a fact we weren't dating. I couldn't be like "do you want to grab some coffee?" without him saying "Okay, but we're not dating". So one day, we hadn't even been in a good place and I made out with another guy and he accused me of cheating on him. Excuse me? Seriously, f*ck that guy.


She sent a quick text to clear things up, and it worked.

I kissed a friend the morning after a night out. We were hungover dozing on his sofa (I was crashing on his sofa anyway) and it just seemed very natural. He was talking about a museum he really likes and all I could think was "I need to kiss this man. Right now."
We spent most of the day hanging out with some friends before I got the train back to my city. The next day I realised I hadn't actually asked him if he wanted to, you know, date. So I fired off a quick message which I think read something like "hey sidebar are we dating now because that would be super cool if we did ok thanks" and somehow that worked.
It's now been a few months and I'm ridiculously happy so I guess it worked out.


They had been in a relationship for weeks before she had any idea.

Not exactly dating, but something similar. My last gf, We were both doing our thing and I caught feels. Asked her to be exclusive and in a relationship. She said no. Kept dating cause I thought I could power through and quell the feels. Became too much and I basically kept seeing her, minus the romantic stuff. Two months after I asked her, and out of no where, she got upset with me that I didn't introduce her as my gf. Apparently we were in a relationship for several weeks at that point. Who knew.


His whole family knew she was his girlfriend before she did.

I just had this happen. I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago and have been hanging out with a friend a lot.
I decided to visit him. He lives with his family. I'd barely gotten inside before his mom and sister was all over me, wanting to meet his new girlfriend that he had been talking so much about. I genuinely thought we had just been hanging out. And that is how we started dating, but that's okay, 'cause I really like him.


She accidentally wound up in a relationship with her platonic girl friend.

I accidentially dated a girl. I met her at uni, she was nice and friendly and we went to the movies a lot, had dinner, went clubbing... you know, that stuff that I would have considered as a date with a man, but normal friends-activities with a woman. I was oblivious until she went for the kiss.
I still feel bad for leading her on years afterwards and am now a lot more aware of heteronormative mindsets.


He was secretly "in love" with her, but did a REALLY good job of keeping it a secret.

I had a friends with benefits that years later I still don't understand. He was very upfront about how he didn't want anything serious. That was fine with me and I continued to date other guys. He became unbelievably jealous but whenever I would ask him if he wanted to be exclusive he was adamant he didn't feel that way about me. He wanted me to meet his family and go on vacations together but "as friends", which I did not feel comfortable with. Eventually I broke things off and I met my boyfriend (5 years together).
Two years after this he tells me that he was "obviously in love with me" and he was upset that I didn't just feel it. Like I'm supposed to just ignore everything he says and act like a crazy, desperate person for years until he can admit it himself.


Apparently, sending flowers means you're being asked out?

My LD boyfriend sent me red roses for my birthday. Which, apparently, was him asking me out, but I wasn’t sure and we had “the talk” a week later.


No better time to DTR than during a shared lap dance at a strip club.

A friend I had been casually booking up with off and on bought me a lap dance for my birthday. The dancer asked us how long we’d been dating, and I said we weren’t, and he paused and said “well, I mean, we’re kind of dating”. This led to an awkward conversation while the dancer was gyrating around us and occasionally piping up to tell us about her boyfriend’s penis.


Confused about whether you and your (maybe) bae are dating or just friends? I'd say the best method of finding out outlined here is obviously getting a lap dance from an especially inquisitive dancer, but, like, if that method doesn't quite suit you, maybe just ask the person what's going on. Novel idea, I know.

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