A Guy's Question About Why His Girlfriend Masturbates After Sex Has Twitter Howling

Fellas, I have a little sexual tip for you. Now, I'm no sexual health expert, but I can tell you with some confidence that, if your girlfriend is masturbating after intercourse every time, it's probably not the best sign. Now, there are some other reasons she could be doing this. But, realistically, the most probable reason why she's doing this is because you're not satisfying her in bed. For most people, this would be common knowledge. But not for one dude who straight-up asked a sex columnist at The Guardian: "My girlfriend masturbates after we have sex. Why?"

In full, the anonymous dude's question reads:

I have been in a relationship for nine months. I thought the sex was good for us both, but when we finish she tells me to shower. I wondered why, and now I know — she masturbates. She has done it multiple times; I think she is insatiable. What should I do?

OK, let's unpack his question for a second here. He thought the sex was good for them both. She inexplicably asked him to shower after they have sex every time they finish, and he just recently learned it's because she wants to masturbate in secrecy while he showers. He then just makes the assumption that this is happening because she is "insatiable." LOL, YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP, PEOPLE.

Needless to say, the moment the article was published and shared on Twitter, people gave this guy some very necessary real talk.

Take a wild guess, my dude.

Just make sure you're ready for the answer.

It's not going to be pretty.

Yeaaaaah, this is pretty self-explanatory.

LOOK, YOU JUST DIDN'T DO YOUR JOB RIGHT, BUDDY.

There's a rule of thumb, and he's not going by it.

Poor guy.

He shouldn't have had to ask in the first place.

Interesting choice of question, though.

Teamwork makes the dream work, but also...

People's issues weren't only with the guy's question, either. Twitter users took some issue with the response from the "expert" columnist. Rather than instructing this inquisitive guy to hmm... I don't know... talk to his girlfriend about what's going on, the expert instructed him to "do nothing." That is a direct quote.

The expert went on to expand upon the guy's whole "she's insatiable" theory:

Many women crave a second orgasm, especially if she has been super-aroused during intercourse. Perhaps she doesn’t want to bother you for that extra pleasuring, or maybe she is afraid you might think her too demanding. Many people – male and female – find the type of orgasm they have during masturbation (for women, often clitorally focussed) to be qualitatively different from what is experienced during lovemaking. They find masturbation produces a deeply satisfying orgasm without the anxiety that can accompany partner sex.

It is not until the very end that the expert hits him with this one sentence of semi-real talk: "If you wish to participate beyond your established love-making pattern, ask what exactly she would like you to do for her after you have climaxed."

Believe it or not, people on Twitter weren't exactly pleased with that response, either.

She had him consider THIS possibility before suggesting he just ask her what she wants in bed.

This person thinks the columnist should've asked more questions.

Newsflash! There's a large chance this isn't necessarily her second orgasm.

How about you ASK HER?

At the end of the day, there's only one way for this problem to be solved. This dude needs to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend. He needs to ask her what's going on and, in turn, she needs to answer him honestly so that he can make any necessary changes.

Here's to hoping they actually manage to do that.

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